Ujongana njani noKwaliwa kwaye uyisebenzise ngobuchule kwinzuzo yakho (Ukuhleka okubi)

Amagama Aphezulu Ebantwaneni

Umgangatho:

Umhla Wokuzalwa:

Thumela

Ndithumele Nge-Imeyile Veza Kwindawo

Ukwaliwa yenye yaloo mava amabi ubomi kubonakala siphoswa kuthi ukugcina izinto umdla. Kuphela, endaweni yokwenza izinto zibe nomdla, ukulahlwa kudla ngokusenza sizive sibi ngokwethu. Okona kusisiseko, ukugatywa kukugxothwa okanye ukwaliwa kwengcamango. Kuyafana nokungavunywa, ukuchaswa kunye nokuphelisa. Kuvakala ngathi kubethwa impama ebusweni—kwaye kwenzeka kumntu wonke.

Akukho mntu ungenakunqandwa, kodwa abanye abantu baphatha kakuhle kunabanye. Nokuba inyakazela kwindawo osebenza kuyo, ubomi basekhaya okanye izangqa zasekuhlaleni, yinto sonke ekufuneka sijamelane nayo kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo zokujonga ebomini bethu. Ngoko ke sijongana njani nokwaliwa kwaye siqhubeke? Ngokutsho kweengcali, yisebenzise ngokufanelekileyo. Nantsi indlela yokwenza oko kanye.

EZIQHELEKILEYO: UJongana njani nokuKhanyiswa kweGesi kwaye umise i-Manipulator yakho kwiingoma zabo

Iingcebiso ezi-4 ezilula zokufumana ngaphezulu kokwaliwa kunye nokuyisebenzisa kwi-Advanteji yakho

1. Vumelana nokukhatywa

Eli lelona candelo linzima, kodwa libaluleke kakhulu. UAndrea Marcellus , igcisa lobomi, ingcaphephe yokomelela kunye nombhali we Indlela yokungena , icacisa ukuba eli nyathelo lokuqala alithethi ukuba uzibeke phantsi. Kuthetha ukubona oko kwelinye icala-umqeqeshi, umphathi oqeshwayo, umhlobo-efunekayo kunye nendlela oko kungenakuba yinto onokuyinika ngayo. Ukuvumelana nokwaliwa kubandakanya ukuyamkela into yokuba yenzekile kwaye nokuguqula amandla eemvakalelo ewaphetheyo abe yinto eluncedo.

Umzekelo: Alenzanga qela lehoki ebaleni lasevarsity. Ibuhlungu ngathi sisihogo. Kodwa xa uthatha inyathelo umva unokubona ukuba kungenxa yokuba ubungazimiselanga kwihoki yasebaleni njengabanye abadlali-emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukwibhunga labafundi kunye nengxoxo. Mhlawumbi umqeqeshi uyakubona ubhityile kakhulu. Kunzima, kodwa ukuba uyakwamkela oku kukhatywa njengethuba lokuqonda ngenene eyona nto uyixabisileyo kakhulu nalapho kufuneka uchithe ixesha lakho, uya kufunda ngakumbi koku kwaliwa kunokuba ungene kwiqela.

2. Jonga amandla akho onke

Kulungile ukuvuma ukwaliwa kwaye uzakhe kwakhona. Qinisekisa engqondweni yakho ukuba ngawaphi amandla akho ukuwaqaqambisa kwithuba elilandelayo, uyala uMarcellus. Zibuze ukuba uzisa ntoni etafileni? Kutheni ixabisekile? Ukuba awuqhelanga ukucinga ngawe ngale ndlela, hlala phantsi kwaye wenze iphepha lokuqhayisa.

Umzekelo: Awuzange uwufumane umsebenzi wokugcina umntwana ubucinga ukuba uphelele kuwo. Xa ubuza usapho ukuba kutheni behambe nomnye umgqatswa, bathi kungenxa yokuba une CPR yoqeqesho. Huh. Wena kananjalo babe noqeqesho lwe-CPR, kodwa ayizange ikwenze kucace oku. Igig elandelayo yokugada umntwana, uyaqinisekisa ukuba wabelana ngayo yonke into ekwenza ube ngumvuzo oxabisekileyo kwi-bat.

3. Yamkela ukwaliwa njengokhuseleko

Cinga ngexesha owakha wachaswa ngalo. Leliphi ithuba elavelayo ngelalingenakwenzeka ngaphandle kwala mava angalunganga? UMarcellus ukhuthaza abantu ukuba bamkele ukugatywa njengento elungileyo, kuba kuthetha ukuba into ebhetele iza kulandela. Isitshixo kukufunda kuwo onke amava, vumela ukugatywa kukuncede ukhule, uyongezelela. Ukuchaswa kusinika ithuba lokucacisa into esiyifunayo, into esinokunikela ngayo kunye nento esinokuyibekela bucala.

Umzekelo: Emva kwesaqhwithi sothando semihla, uzifumana uphethwe ngulo mntu ubuyonwabele kakhulu. Kubuhlungu ukwaliwa kuba, nangona izinto zaziqala, ninombono wekamva kunye. Oko kuthethiweyo, ngomgama omncinci ukusuka kwimeko, mhlawumbi ube neemfama. Ngaba ngokwenene unalo uqhagamshelwano? Ngaba nobabini nakhe nazibandakanya kwiincoko ezinzulu malunga neenjongo neenjongo zenu? Mhlawumbi akunjalo. Ukuchaswa kuyahlaba, kodwa ikuxelela into malunga nendlela yokuqhubela phambili ngobulumko njengoko uqhubeka nokuthandana.

4. Qhubeka

Qhubeka nokubeka unyawo olunye phambi kolunye yonke imihla ukwenza izinto zenzeke, utshilo uMarcellus. Ngaphandle kokuyinyanzela, yamkele ngobubele into elandelayo, emva kokukhatywa. Oku kusenokubonakala njengokuhlengahlengisa okulindelweyo ngaphambi kokuba uthandane kwakhona, ulinde ngomonde ukuvulelwa umsebenzi okanye unikel’ ingqalelo kwizinto ezincinane ezikuzisela uvuyo. Nantoni na oyenzayo, musa ukuyeka ukuqhubela phambili.

Umzekelo: Isicelo sakho sekholeji yephupha saliwe. Ngelixa kuvakala ngathi kuphelile, ukwala kunokuba ngumjikelo onamandla wokuzingisa. Kuthekani ukuba, kunokuba unikezele, umba nzulu kwizinto ezikwenza wonwabe. Ufaka isicelo kwikholeji yoluntu kunye nenkqubo yokufunda ifilimu-umnqweno wakho-okwenzeka ukuba kuninzi kwezandla ngaphezu kwenkqubo yekholeji enkulu kwaye imimoya ikukhokelela kumsebenzi njengomlawuli wezorhwebo ngokukhawuleza kunokuba ubuya kuba nayo ukuba uya. indlela yemveli.

Apha ngezantsi kukho imizekelo yeendlela onokuhlangabezana ngazo nokulahlwa ebomini bakho. Imeko yomntu wonke yahlukile; kunjalo, ukubambelela inkqubo yamanyathelo amane kaMarcellus ukuze ufumane phezu kokusilela yindawo eqinileyo ukuqala.

Ukujongana Nokwaliwa Emsebenzini

Ingaba umphathi wakho uyasikhaba isicelo sakho sokunyuselwa okanye umntu osebenza naye uhlala ebeka izimvo zakho, ukwaliwa emsebenzini kunokudinwa kwaye kudimaze. USusan M. Heathfield, umcebisi wabasebenzi kunye nolawulo, uxelela I-Balance Careers undoqo apha kukufumana impendulo. Ngokulinganayo kubaluleke kakhulu yakho impendulo kwimpendulo. Kunokuba niphikisane okanye nicaphuke, yimamele ngokwenene ingxelo kwaye wenze uludwe lweendawo onokuthi uziphucule kuzo, ecaleni kwamandla akho. Yenza isicwangciso esibambekayo sendlela yokuhlangabezana nebenchmarks ezithile kwaye wabelane ngesi sicwangciso nabantu abachaphazela ngqo iinjongo zakho.

Kukwafanelekile ukuba uqaphele ukwaliwa emsebenzini kunokuba nenjongo ngakumbi, enokwenza kube lula ukwetyisa. Mhlawumbi ubungakufanelanga ukunyuselwa, nokuba wazi kangakanani na ukuba uya kudlala indima. Kwicala elisecaleni, ukuba ubungqina bubonisa ukuba isigqibo senziwe ngokuzimeleyo, ukucela ingxelo kunokukukhanyisela oku kwaye kukunike amandla angakumbi kwixesha elizayo xa kuvela intengiso. Iindawo ezininzi zokusebenza zineendlavini kunye nezilayidi zegesi ezithintela abanye ukuba bafikelele amandla abo apheleleyo. Ukuba oku kunjalo, kuya kufuneka ubeke imida kwaye ujongane nolu hlobo lokuziphatha ngokuthe ngqo. Amathuba kukuba, ayinguwe wedwa kwiofisi ejongene nokuxhatshazwa.

Ukujongana nokulahlwa ngexesha lokuzingela umsebenzi

Ukwaliwa emsebenzini kunye nokwaliwa ngelixa ukujonga umsebenzi uvelisa iimvakalelo ezimbini ezahlukeneyo kakhulu. Iimvakalelo ezinzulu zokudimazeka kunye nokuphoxeka xa ufuna umvuzo yinto eqhelekileyo. Kwakhona kulula ukuthatha izinto ngokwakho ngakumbi xa impendulo ephindaphindiweyo kwimbali yakho yomsebenzi kunye nezakhono ithi, Hayi, enkosi! Ukunqanda ukuwela kwi-self-critical spiral, zivumele ukuba uzive kakubi kwaye usebenzise amava angalunganga ukuqinisa ukuzithemba kwakho. Njengesazi ngengqondo uGqr. Pam Garcy uxelelwe Iphephancwadi , Ngamanye amaxesha ukuzivumela ukuba ube neemvakalelo zakho kubakhokelela ekunciphiseni kancinci kancinci. Ngokomzekelo, endaweni yokuba uzibethele ngokubulala udliwano-ndlebe lomsebenzi, yijonge njengoqheliselo kudliwano-ndlebe olulandelayo. Okukhona usenza, kokukhona ufumana ngcono.

Kwinkumbulo yakhe Ekubhaleni , uStephen King uthi waqala ukuthumela iziliphu zokulahlwa eludongeni ngaphezu kwedesika yakhe xa wayeneminyaka eyi-14. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, isikhonkwane esiseludongeni lwam sasingasayi kuphinda sixhase ubunzima bokwaliwa kweziliphu ezibethelelwe kuso. Ndafaka isikhonkwane endaweni yesikhonkwane ndaqhubeka nokubhala. Umthengisi wakhe obalaseleyo, UCarrie , yaliwa ngabavakalisi abangama-30 ngaphambi kokuba ithathwe. Ukusukela ngoko, uthengise ngaphezulu kwe-350 yezigidi zeekopi zeencwadi zakhe ezingaphezu kwama-80. Sifunda ntoni? Ungacaphuka ngenxa yokwaliwa, kodwa kufuneka uqhubeke. Vumela ukwala ngakunye kuqinise isibindi sakho. Dlala u-Ariana Grande's Enkosi, Okulandelayo, kwaye wamkele ngomso.

Ukujongana nokwaliwa ukuthandana

Ukwaliwa ukuthandana kunokuba lula ukuthatha ngokobuqu kwaye kunzima ukufumana phezu. Inyaniso kukuba, yonke into yokuthandana kukugatya amaqabane angahambelaniyo! IGem efihliweyo yinkampani enceda abantu ukuba bafumane okuninzi kwi-intanethi. Baphinda bathi ukuthandana kunye nokwaliwa kuyahamba kunye. Ukunyaniseka kumntu onokuba liqabane kubalulekile; xa umntu ukwala, inento yonke yokwenza nayo zabo iimfuno kunye neemfuno, hayi ukuba ungubani.

Enye indlela yokujongana nayo kukucinga ngamaxesha apho uye wajika abantu. Kutheni walile umntu? Qwalasela into ebenokuyenza lo mntu nangakwaziyo ukuyilawula indlela osabela ngayo kuye. Qwalasela into asenokuba ujongana nayo loo mntu ukukhululayo emfihlekweni.

Enye indlela yokulwa nokudinwa kukuthandana kukuphepha ukutsiba-tsiba ukusuka komnye umntu ukuya komnye. Ukutsibela umva kwikhonkco lokuthandana kwakamsinya emva kokulahlwa okubuhlungu kunokuvala amava akho. Ngaba wakha wathandana nomntu ongakwaziyo ukuyeka ukuthetha nge-ex yakhe? Akukho mnandi. I-eHarmony ikwacebisa ukuphepha ukwenza ngokubanzi . Endaweni yokuthi, Akukho mntu ufuna ukuthandana nam, zama, Loo mntu akazange afune ukuthandana nam. Umntu ofuna ujola nam usaphumile.

Okokugqibela, ukuba awuzange wamkele umhla okanye iqabane lothando, oko kunokuba yinto ekhathazayo ngokulinganayo. Uvumelekile ukuba ujike umntu ukuba akunamdla okanye ulahlekelwe yintlantsi yokuqala oyivayo. Olu hlobo lokuzihlola lubalulekile ekusingatheni ukugatywa kuba lusikhumbuza ukuba kufuneka sibe nemigangatho; akufanele zibe phezulu okanye zithe ngqo ukuba akukho mntu unokuhlangabezana nazo, kodwa kufuneka zibe khona ukuze sikwazi ukukhupha abantu abangasifanelanga (kunye vice versa).

Ukujongana nokulahlwa kubuhlobo

Ukuthetha ngokuziphendukela kwemvelo, abantu bafuna amaqela ezentlalo ukuze baphile. Yiyo loo nto ingamangalisiyo into yokuba izifundo zibonise ukuba ingqondo yethu itolika intlungu yokwaliwa ekuhlaleni. ngendlela efanayo batolika intlungu yomzimba . Ngoko ke, ukukhutshelwa ngaphandle kwiyure eyonwabileyo okanye ukungafumani simemo kwitheko lomhla wokuzalwa womhlobo kunokukhokelela kwiimvakalelo ezingalunganga ezifana nokuxhalaba, umona kunye nosizi.

U-Kipling Williams, PhD, kwiYunivesithi yasePurdue, uxelele i-American Psychological Association (APA) ukuba abantu abaninzi basabela ekukhatyweni kwentlalontle. ngoko nangoko ukulinganisa abantu abakwiqela abafuna ukuba kulo. Ngokusisiseko, oku kuthetha ukutshintsha indlela oziphatha ngayo ukuze ihambelane neyomnye umntu ukuze yamkelwe. Oku kusabela kulinge lokulawula imeko engalawulekiyo. Ibeka esichengeni imilinganiselo yobuqu. Impendulo esempilweni-kwaye eyanelisayo kukuchitha ixesha nabahlobo okanye usapho olukushiya uziva kamnandi ngawe.

Akukho bahlobo bakhoyo okanye usapho olukufutshane? Ivolontiya ngesizathu okholelwa kuso. Joyina iklabhu yeencwadi kwivenkile yeencwadi yasekuhlaleni. Thatha iklasi! Nantoni na ekubeka kwindawo nabanye abantu abanengqondo efanayo iya kunceda ukuvuselela ubuhlobo obunentsingiselo.

Ukuba kubonakala ngathi abahlobo kunye nosapho ababekade besondele kuwe baye baqala ukwala izimemo zokuhlala okanye ukubamba, kuyafaneleka ukubuza ukuba ngaba ubonakalisile ngandlela ithile. Akukho mntu ufezekileyo, kodwa ukuba umkhwa wakho ombi wokugxeka abanye rhoqo uchaphazela ubudlelwane bakho, lixesha lokutshintsha indlela yakho. Kwakhona, oku kukuzihlola, kungekhona ukuzigxeka.

Ukwala akumnandi, kodwa yinxalenye yobomi. Wonke umntu udlula kuyo. Ukuba unokuyisebenzisela inzuzo yakho, inokutshintsha yonke into.

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Ndithumele Nge-Imeyile Veza Kwindawo