Kwabaninzi bethu, umtshato yinto ebesinombono ngayo - ongacacanga okanye oqinisekileyo - ukusukela ixesha elide, elide. Ngokuqinisekileyo sisiganeko esibalulekileyo, esivuyisayo sokutshintsha ubomi. Nje ukuba ufumene i-SO yakho, uyonwaba kwaye ulungele ukuya kwi-D-Day ngokukhawuleza. Kodwa, thatha umzuzwana phambi kokuba ungxamele emtshatweni. Ubomi bakho buza kutshintsha busuke ekubeni ‘yinto emalunga nam’ bube ‘bubonke ngathi’. I ‘me’ inokulahleka ngokulula kuyo yonke, kwaye yinto ongayifuniyo leyo. Kufuneka uzinike ixesha eliya kukunceda ube kwindawo engcono, ngokweemvakalelo, ngokwasengqondweni, ngokwezimali nasemzimbeni ekuhambeni kwexesha. Kuya kunceda ubudlelwane bakho bomtshato, kwaye inokuba liqhinga lomtshato ohlala ixesha elide, onempumelelo.
Kufuneka ube namava athile awakho phambi kokuba uqhubele phambili ube namava amatsha nomyeni wakho. Nalu uluhlu lwezinto omawuzenze wedwa phambi kokuba utshate.
Nye. Izinto omawuzenze-Ziphile wedwa
Mbini. Izinto omawuzenze - Zimela ngokwasezimalini
3. Izinto omawuzenze-Yilwa kakuhle
Isine. Izinto omawuzenze- Zihambe wedwa
5. Izinto omawuzenze-Khetha eyakho into ozonwabisa ngayo
6. Izinto omawuzenze - Yakha eyakho inkqubo yenkxaso
7. Izinto omawuzenze-Jongana nolona loyiko lwakho
8. Izinto omawuzenze - Zazi wena
Izinto omawuzenze-Ziphile wedwa
Kwiintsapho zamaIndiya, intombazana isuka ekuhlaleni nabazali bayo ize ihlale nomyeni wayo amaxesha amaninzi. Le meko inokukhokelela ekubeni owasetyhini axhomekeke kwabanye - ngokwezimali, ngokweemvakalelo, okanye ngokwasengqondweni. Wonke umfazi, ngaphambi komtshato wakhe, kufuneka ahlale yedwa - yedwa, okanye kunye nabahlali abangenayo intsapho. Ukuhlala wedwa kukufundisa izinto ezininzi. Umphathi wePR osandula kutshata uTanvi Deshpande, ukwazisa, Ukuhlala wedwa ngokuqinisekileyo kunceda umntu akhule kakhulu. Ndingacebisa ukuba wonke umfazi (kunye namadoda) kufuneka ahlale yedwa ngexesha elithile ebomini, nokuba lixesha elithile. Ukuthenga igrosari yakho, ukuhlawula amatyala, ukunyamekela indlu konke oku kwenza ukuba uqonde umsebenzi onzima oya ekwakheni ubomi. Uba nokuzimela ngokwasezimalini nangokweemvakalelo; ukwenza uhlahlo lwabiwo-mali lwenyanga kunye nokuhlawula onke amatyala akho kunokukunika imvakalelo yokufezekiswa. Ukuchitha iimpelaveki ezimbalwa kunye nobusuku beveki kuphela kukunika amandla. Kungekudala-uzakutshata umhlalutyi weshishini eliphezulu uSneha Gurjar uyincoma kakhulu, Ndiyenze ngokwam phantse iminyaka eyi-10, ngokuqinisekileyo ndingayicebisa! Ukuhlala wedwa , ngaphandle kwabazali bakho, kukwenza ukwazi ukuzimela ngakumbi yaye kukwenza ube sesichengeni ngakumbi kwihlabathi lokwenene. Ukuhlala wedwa akunakwenzeka ngamanye amaxesha nangona kunjalo. UShivangi Shah, umcebisi wePR osandula ukubethwa, ukwazisa, Ukuhlala wedwa kukunceda ufumane ukuzithemba ngakumbi ngokuzimela, kunye nokwenza imisebenzi yakho ngaphandle koncedo, njl., kodwa umntu unokuyifumana ngokuhlala nosapho kunye nokuthatha inyathelo elingakumbi ekhaya kwakhona. Umanejala wezentengiso nonxibelelwano uNeha Bangale oza kutshata kulo nyaka uthi, Ukuzihlalela kunceda owasetyhini aqonde ukuba angabulawula njani ubomi (umsebenzi, izifundo, ikhaya) ngaphandle koncedo lwaye nabani na. Imnika umlinganiselo omhle wendlela yokuphila kwixa elizayo. Ikwamcacisela ukuba ungubani na ngenene, kwaye yintoni anokuyenza okanye angayi kuyenza. Ngokomzekelo, ndaqonda ukuba andinakuze ndihlambe izitya nokuba ndihlala ndedwa. Ngoko ke, ndiyazi ukuba kufuneka ndibe neqabane elikulungeleyo ukuhlamba izitya okanye ukuqesha iimpelesi.
Izinto omawuzenze - Zimela ngokwasezimalini
Njengokuhlala nawe, kufuneka ube nokuqonda kakuhle ezethu iimali. Oku kuya kukunceda kakhulu ekubeni uzive ukulungele ukutshata. UGurjar naye uthi, Ukuzimela ngokwasezimalini ibaluleke kakhulu. Ndibona umtshato njengobudlelwane obulinganayo, okuthetha ukuba indoda nomfazi kufuneka bakwazi kwaye bazimisele ukuphatha zombini, umsebenzi kunye nosapho. Ngubani owenza into engabalulekanga. Nokuba uceba ukusebenza okanye hayi emva komtshato, kufuneka ufumane amava omsebenzi phambi komtshato. Ayizukwenza nje ukuba ucinge ngezinto ngendlela eyahlukileyo kodwa ikwenza ufumane umvuzo wedwa, ikwenze uzimele ngokwezimali. Nokuba awufumani mali ininzi njengoko ubungathanda okwangoku, iyakwenza ukuba uzibonele ngokwakho ukuba unokukwazi ukuzimela kwaye ungaxhomekeki kwabanye ngemali. Nokuba utshate nendoda ekubonelela ngokwaneleyo, akukho lukhuseleko lwakho, u-Shah uthi, Ngesizathu esithile, ukuba kufuneka uzibonelele, uya kwenza njani? Andiqondi ukuba umfazi ngamnye kufuneka agxile emsebenzini okanye agxininise ngokupheleleyo kumsebenzi, kodwa kuhle ukuba nokhuseleko oluthile kunye nokuzithemba ukuba ukuba kuyimfuneko unokuba wedwa kwaye unganyamezeli nantoni na echasene nesiqu sakho- intlonipho. UDeshpande uvakalelwa kukuba, Ukuba abafazi bafuna ukulingana ngandlela zonke, kufuneka bazimele kwaye babe nolwazi malunga nokuhlawula irhafu, utyalo-mali njl.
Izinto omawuzenze-Yilwa kakuhle
Xa izinto zonke hunky-dory, iya kuba sihamba kakuhle kulo naluphi na ulwalamano. Kodwa xa iitshiphusi ziphantsi, kwaye kukho inkathazo eparadesi, kulapho ufumanisa ukuba umntu ngokwenene unjani kwaye usabela kwiimeko. Amanqaku kaBangale, Imilo ibalulekile ukuba nayo. Ufumana ukwazi izimvo zomnye nomnye, umoya wabo wokulwa (ulungile okanye umdaka). Bakuphatha kakuhle/kubi kangakanani ukungavisisani kunye nokuphoxeka. Akukho bantu babini banokuvumelana ngokugqibeleleyo kuyo yonke into encinane. Kuya kubakho ukungaboni ngasonye, ukungaqondani kunye iyantlukwano yezimvo , kwaye oko kulungile! Kodwa indlela ezisingathwa ngayo iimeko ezinjalo yeyona nto iphambili kusukuzwano ngalo apha. Xa kusiliwa, umntu ukhupha elona cala libi kuye, uShah ukholelwa ukuba, Ukuba eli cala lakhe liyinto onokuthi ujongane nayo; emva koko uyazi ukuba kuya kulunga. Ngamnye unokunyamezela iindlela zokuziphatha ezahlukeneyo, abanye banokunyamezela umsindo, abanye banokunyamezela ubundlobongela (njengokwaphula izinto); ngoko ke kungcono ukwazi ukuba yintoni na iqabane lakho xa ucaphukile kwaye ukuba uyakwazi ukuphatha umgangatho kuye.
Kwaye esinye isizathu sokulwa kukwenza emva koko. Kunene? Kwaye uyazi ukuba uya kukwazi ukudlula kwiingxaki kwaye uzisombulule kunye. Nangona ukulwa ingengomba ungako kangako, njengokwazi ukuba uya kukwazi ukuwulungisa ngokufanelekileyo umcimbi kunye. UGurjar uthi, andikhumbuli ndikhe ndalwa nendoda endandiza kutshata nayo. Sinako ukungaboni ngasonye ngamaxesha athile, kodwa besisoloko sikwazi ukufumana isisombululo ngoxolo. Amanqaku kaDeshpande, Ngaphezu kokulwa, ndiyakholelwa ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba isibini kufuneka sijongane nemingeni kubudlelwane baso. Kungelo xesha kuphela apho baya kuyazi indlela omnye umntu asabela ngayo phantsi koxinezeleko aze aloyise ucelomngeni.
Izinto omawuzenze- Zihambe wedwa
Emva komtshato uya kuhamba nomyeni wakho, kodwa uya kuba wenza izigqibo ezisekelwe kwizinto ezithandwayo kunye nezingathandwayo zombini. Ngaphambi komtshato wakho, ungakhetha kwaye ukhethe iindawo, into omawuyenze apho, njalo njalo ngokwakho, kwaye wenze yonke into obufuna ukuyenza okanye obuphupha ukuyenza ngaphandle kokulalanisa. Kulungile ukuzicingela ngamanye amaxesha. Amava oya kuwafumana ngexesha lohambo olunjalo ngokuqinisekileyo luya kwahluka ngoko uhambo olwenzayo emva komtshato. Unokuhamba nabahlobo bakho, nto leyo eya kukunika uhlobo olwahlukileyo lwamava. UGurjar uyacacisa, Ukuhamba, nokuba uwedwa, nabahlobo okanye neqabane kwandisa iihorizons zakho, kukwenza uvuleke ngakumbi kwaye ubazi abantu abakungqongileyo kwaye kudala iinkumbulo ubomi bakho bonke! Enoba kuphambi okanye emva komtshato akunamsebenzi kangako. Kodwa ngokubanzi, kwangaphambili kungcono! UShah uyavuma, Xa umntu ehamba yedwa okanye nabahlobo, bafumana umhlaba ngokuthanda kwabo kunye nokukhetha. Bazinika ixesha lokonwabela nokwenza iinkumbulo zobomi babo bonke. Iholide ngaphambi komtshato ngokuqinisekileyo iya kukunika ixesha lokuzihlalutya kwaye loo nto incinci yokucolwa ukufanele. UBangale ukholelwa ukuba nokuba neyakho amava ohambo ngaphambi kokutshata uya kutyebisa amava akho eholide xa uwathatha neqabane. Musa ukukhawulela ukuhamba kwakho nabahlobo ukuya ngaphambi komtshato nangona kunjalo, uDeshpande uthi, Ukuhamba nabahlobo bakho ibalulekile kungekuphela nje ngaphambi komtshato kodwa nasemva koko. Ufumana ukwazi okuninzi malunga nabahlobo bakho ngexesha lokuhamba. Kwakhona, ibhondi kunye namava okwabelana ngawo ngexesha leeholide yinto oya kuyixabisa ngonaphakade.
Izinto omawuzenze-Khetha eyakho into ozonwabisa ngayo
Ukuba awunayo kakade, khetha into oyithandayo kuwe. Oku kuya kukunika ixesha lam elifunekayo kakhulu kude nemihla ngemihla. Kuya kunceda ukuthatha ingqondo yakho naluphi na uxinzelelo oluvela emsebenzini okanye kusapho. Kuya kukunceda kwakhona emva komtshato ukuba ube liqabane elingcono, njengoko kuya kukunika ithuba lokuthetha kwaye ukhulule enye okanye yonke ingxabano ebomini bakho. Qhubeka nokusukela izinto ozonwabisa ngazo kunye nokugcina isazisi sakho, uGurjar uthi, Umtshato akufuneki uthethe ukuba uncame yonke into oyithandayo kwaye uyenzayo. UDeshpande uyavuma ukuba, Ngoxa indoda nomfazi kufuneka babekho ukuze bathandane yaye baxhasane, bafanele baqhubeke nomdla wabo ozimeleyo ukuze bangaxhomekeki omnye komnye kuyo yonke into.
Izinto omawuzenze - Yakha eyakho inkqubo yenkxaso
Njengesibini, ninokuba neseti yabahlobo abaqhelekileyo abaya kuninceda ngamaxesha obunzima. Kodwa ukuba ufuna umntu ukuba abe sekoneni yakho ngokupheleleyo ngaphandle kokuzama ukuba ngumhlobo kuni nobabini. Abahlobo bakho baya kuba yinkqubo yakho yenkxaso ngamaxesha amnandi namabi. Nje ukuba utshatile nangona kunjalo, unokufumana ixesha lakho lokuthatha inxaxheba ekubeni ne-SO yakho, kunye nabahlobo abaqhelekileyo. Kodwa musa ukulibala abahlobo bakho. Hlangana rhoqo, okanye uthethe ngefowuni. Okanye unokucwangcisa uhambo lwesiqingatha sonyaka okanye unyaka kunye kunye. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ube neseti yakho yabahlobo, uGurjar uziva, Ngokuqinisekileyo, usenokungababoni abahlobo bakho rhoqo emva komtshato, kodwa leyo yinxalenye yokukhula.
UShah uyichaza kakuhle, ndisondele kakhulu kumyeni wam, kwaye singabahlobo abakhulu phambi kwamaqabane. Ndixoxa ngayo yonke imfihlo kunye naye, kodwa ndisabafuna abahlobo bam, ukuba bangabelani ngeemfihlo kodwa ngamanye amaxesha kufuneka utshintsho kwiimbono, kufuneka ujonge ubuso bakho obudala obuthandayo kwaye uthethe ngezinto ezingenangqondo kwaye uhleke amaphaphu akho kunye nobudlelwane bakho. ubomi bakho inendawo yayo kunye nexabiso, umyeni akanakuba liziko kuphela ebomini bakho. Nangona nguyena budlelwane obubalulekileyo obufunekayo ukuba ugcine, kodwa rhoqo emva kwexesha kufuneka uzinike ikhefu elincinci kwaye uchithe ixesha kunye nabahlobo abaye bakhona nangaphambi komyeni wakho. Ubudlelwane obunye abukwazi ukulawula abanye. Kwaye abahlobo ngamanye amaxesha bayakunceda ubone ngaphaya kobomi bakho obuqhelekileyo. Elo khefu lincinci linceda ukugcina umtshato wakho uqhubeka womelele kwaye usempilweni. UBangale uyaphinda uthi, Ukuba neqela lakho labahlobo kubaluleke kakhulu njengokuba nabazali bakho, abantakwenu, izixhobo zobuchwepheshe, izithuthi. Yinxalenye yesazisi somfazi kunye nokuzimela. Ukuba nobudlelwane obuneziqhamo obungabunjwanga ngomfo ngokuqhelekileyo bomelele ngokwabo. Banendawo kunye nokubaluleka kweyabo. Kuyanceda nokuba nabahlobo bakho ukuba benze izinto ezingenangqondo malunga neqabane lakho, utshilo uDeshpande ngentsini.
Izinto omawuzenze-Jongana nolona loyiko lwakho
Kutheni ubuza. Amaxesha amaninzi, siyazibamba kwaye siyidlale ngokukhuselekileyo, ukuze siphephe ukujonga ubudenge, ukuziva sineentloni, ukwenzakala, kunye/okanye ukujongana nokungafunwa okanye ukusilela okunokwenzeka. Uloyiko lunokuba yiyo nantoni na - enkulu okanye encinci. Ukwenza oku kuya kukunceda ukuba uvume uloyiko lwakho, ukujongana nalo, kwaye uluchithe. Kutheni usenza ngaphambi komtshato wakho? Ukuba unokuloyisa olona loyiko lwakho, ukwenza nantoni na eyenye kuya kubonakala kulula kakhulu kwaye uya kukwazi ukujamelana nayo nayiphi na imiceli mngeni odibana nayo, uluhlu lwezinto omele uzenze ngaphambi komtshato, qhubeka phambili.
Izinto omawuzenze - Zazi wena
Kwingcambu yazo zonke, kufuneka uziqonde - into oyithandayo ngokwenene kwaye ungayithandi, yintoni iinkolelo zakho, njl. Ngamanye amaxesha, asivumi nokuba yintoni esiyifunayo ebomini kwaye siphenjelelwe ngabantu abasingqongileyo. Ukuziqonda kuya kukunceda uqonde into oyifunayo ebomini kwaye ujike ubudlelwane bakho neSO yakho. U-Shah ukholelwa, Ngaphambi kokuba utshate, kufuneka uzazi wena kwaye zithande ngaphambi kokuba uthandane nomnye umntu. Kuba, abantu banokukushiya, okanye bahambe kodwa oyena mntu uya kuhlala nawe ngonaphakade nguwe. Ukuzithanda ngokuzenzekelayo kuya kukwenza ube ngumntu owonwabileyo kwaye abantu abakungqongileyo bathande ukukuthanda ngakumbi!
