Khumbula ukuba Sarah Jessica Parker movie Ukungaphumeleli ukuQalisa ? Yinto ehlekisayo yothando malunga nendoda eneminyaka engama-30 ubudala, uMatthew McConaughey, osahlala nabazali bakhe. Akukho nto iphambene kakhulu ngaloo nto...kodwa kungekudala sifumanisa ukuba yena okanye abazali bakhe abakhe bafune ukumbona eyishiya indlwane. Oku kunceda umntwana okhulileyo. Kwaye nangona kungokwemvelo ukuba abazali bafune ukunceda abantwana babo kuyo yonke iminyaka, ngamanye amaxesha isandla sabo sokunceda sinokuguquka, ngakumbi xa umntwana wabo oneminyaka engama-30 ubudala ethandana noSarah Jessica Parker.
Kodwa ukunika amandla abantwana bakho abadala akusoloko kucacile. Wazi njani ukuba oku kuyasebenza kuwe? Apha, siyanceda ukwahlula iimpawu zokuba uvumela umntwana wakho osele ekhulile kwaye sabelane ngeengcebiso eziluncedo malunga nendlela yokuyeka.
Ngokwembono yobugcisa, ukwenza ukuba kwenzeke xa umzali esusa isiphumo esibi esivela ngokwemvelo kubomi bomntwana okhulileyo, kwaye umntwana akafundi kumava, uyachaza. UGqr Lara Friedrich , isazi ngengqondo esinelayisensi esebenza neentsapho. Kwathiwa ngokwahlukileyo, kuxa umzali nomntwana bebambeka kumjikelo ogcina bobabini bexhomekeke komnye ngendlela engabavumeli ukuba umntwana okhulileyo enze iimpazamo aze akhule.
Inxalenye yesizathu sokuba oku kwenzeke kukuba umzali akafuni ukuba umntwana wakhe akhule aze amshiye eluthulini, ngokungathi kunjalo. Ngamanye amaxesha abazali bavumela ngaphandle kokuqaphela xa besoyika ukuba nomntwana ohlukeneyo kumntu omdala opheleleyo. Xa oko kwahlukana kubuhlungu kakhulu, abazali baya kuthabatha amanyathelo angeyomfuneko ukugcina umntwana esondele, kwanokuba oko kuthintela ukukhula komntwana ngokobuqu, uGqr. Friedrich uthi. Umzekelo, ukubhala ileta yomntwana wakho kubo ngalo lonke ixesha umntwana wakho exhalabile kumgcina ekudinga, nto leyo inokuziva ilungile. Kodwa iyamnqanda umntwana ukuba aphume yedwa kwaye ubafundise ukuba baya kufezekisa iinjongo zabo kuphela ngoncedo lwakho.
Ngoko endaweni yokufunda ukuba ngumntu omdala osebenzayo, ozimeleyo, umntwana wakho ufumana ingqiqo yokuba nelungelo, ukufunda ukungabi nakuzinceda nokungabi nantlonelo.
Baya kulindela unyango olufanayo oluvumelayo oluvela kwabanye abantu ebomini babo kwaye babandakanyeke kuphela kubudlelwane apho banokuthi babe nokuzingca kunye neziko lokuqwalaselwa, utsho uGqr Racine Henry, umtshato kunye nosapho lonyango olusekelwe eNew York kunye nomseki we Umtshato waseSankofa kunye noNyango loSapho. Kwakhona, ukunika amandla akufuni ukuba umntwana wakho akuhlonele okanye acingele iimvakalelo zakho. Oku kunganciphisa amandla akho okuzimela kwaye uphile ubomi bakho ngokwemiqathango yakho kuba kuya kufuneka uhlale ufumaneka kwaye unoxanduva lomnye umntu omdala.
Ukusuka kwimisebenzi yemihla ngemihla efana nokuhlamba iimpahla kunye nokucocela umntwana wakho osele ekhulile ukuya kwimiba emikhulu njengokuzithethelela ngokukhotyokiswa ziziyobisi kunye nomsebenzi wolwaphulo-mthetho, ukubavumela banokukhula ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo.
Nazi ezinye iimpawu ovumela umntwana wakho ukuba akhule:
1. Umenzela nasiphi na isigqibo umntwana wakho omdala.
Umntwana wakho uxhomekeke kuwe ekwenzeni izigqibo kunye naye malunga nayo yonke into, utshilo uGqr. Henry. Yinto enye ukunika ingcebiso kodwa ukuba umntwana wakho omdala uthembele kuwe ukuba wenze isigqibo malunga nemisebenzi, abahlobo, amaqabane abathandanayo, njl njl. baxhomekeke ngendlela engafanelekanga.
2. Umntwana wakho omdala akakuhloniphi.
Ababonisi ntlonipho kuwe okanye bagcine nayiphi na imida oyibekileyo. Ukuba uthi, ‘ungandifowuneli emva kwentsimbi yeshumi ebusuku. okanye andiyi kuphinda ndikuvumele ukuba uhlale nam kwakhona’ yaye baqhubeka bezenza ezi zinto, usenokuba uvumela le ndlela yokuziphatha, uGqr. Henry uthi.
3. Umntwana wakho omdala akanakuvuma ‘hayi.’
Ukuba umntwana wakho uziva engalunganga kakhulu xa usithi hayi kwizicelo zakhe, uGqr. Henry uthi olu luphawu lokuba uvumela ukuziphatha kakubi.
4. Uhlawula yonke into, ngamaxesha onke.
Ukuba umntwana wakho osele ekhulile uhlala nawe kwaye akafuni kwiindleko zekhaya kunye / okanye uhlawula amatyala akhe, usungula umkhwa ombi.
5. Wena ‘sana’ umntwana wakho omdala.
Akufanele ufundise umntwana wakho omdala izinto afanele ukuba sele eyazi indlela yokuzenza, ezinjengokuhlamba impahla.
6. Uziva ucinezelekile, uthathiwe kwaye udiniwe.
Kuyingozi kumzali kuba kunokuphazamisa ixesha, imali, amandla nenkululeko, kwaye kubagcina bebandakanyekile kubomi bomntwana ngendlela engasenamveliso, uGqr. Friedrich ucacisa.
Ukuba ucinga ukuba unokumvumela umntwana wakho, nanga amanye amanyathelo onokuwathatha ukuze uyeke:
1. Misela imida.
Imida isitshixo ekuncedeni umntwana wakho omdala ukuba azimele, uGqr Henry uthi. Ungabonelela ngoncedo kwaye ube khona ukubahlangula kwimeko kaxakeka, kodwa kufuneka bazame izisombululo ngokwabo. Unokuqala ngokucinga ukuba yeyiphi imida okhululekile kuyo. Oku kungasebenza kwindawo, ixesha, imali, ukufumaneka, njl., emva koko unokugqiba ekubeni ube nencoko nomntwana wakho malunga nale mida okanye unokuqalisa ukunyanzelisa le mida ngokukhawuleza. Into ephambili kukuba ungaguquguquki kwaye uphumeze imida esebenzayo. Ukuba umntwana wakho omdala akakhululekanga kwaye / okanye akonwabanga yimida, luphawu ukuba imida iyasebenza.
UGqr. Friedrich uyavumelana noko, esithi kufuneka ucacelwe ukuba lingakanani ixesha, imali namandla okulungele ukulisebenzisa kwimibandela yomntwana wakho. Xelela umntwana wakho lo mda. Ukuba umntwana usoloko ecela imali, khangela ukuba yintoni esebenzayo uze uthi, ‘Ndingakunika ii-R500 ukuze ulungise imoto yakho kule nyanga,’ ngokomzekelo. Okanye ‘ndikunika i-$__ yokuncedisa ekufumaneni iimpahla ezifanelekileyo emsebenzini kulo nyaka.’ Ukuba bafuna uncedo lwe-r sum , khetha umda wexesha uze ume ngakulo.
2. Funda ukuhlala Ulungile xa ubona umntwana wakho etsala nzima.
Gxininisa ekwandiseni unyamezelo lwakho lokubona ubunzima bomntwana wakho, utshilo uGqr. Friedrich. Ukuba kunzima kakhulu ukubukela, okanye ukuba uzifumana utsalwa kwakhona kwaye kwakhona, thetha nomgqirha ukuze uqonde ngcono okwenzekayo. Ngokudibeneyo, unokwenza isicwangciso esilungiselelweyo sokuqhawula umjikelo.
3. Baxelele kuGoogle ngayo.
Xa abantwana bakho abadala bekubuza ukuba uyenza njani into, bacebise ukuba bayenze kuGoogle. Isenokuvakala ingqongqo, kodwa iyakwazi. Baza kuyiqonda, utshilo uRebecca Ogle, unontlalontle wekliniki kunye nonyango olugunyazisiweyo osebenzisa i-teletherapy e-Illinois. Kwaloo migca inye, uthi yeka ukwenzela abantwana bakho izinto eziluxanduva lwabo. Ngokuyeka, ubanika ithuba: A. Bangenzi nto kwaye babandezeleke neziphumo okanye B. Benza oko kufuneka bakwenze. Ukhetho luxhomekeke kubo.
