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Kungenxa yokuba wena (funda: amadoda) uye kumhla kunye naye kwaye kwavela ukuba ubalaseleyo, oko akuthethi ukuba uyakuthathela ingqalelo ukuthandana nawe kwaoko. Kukho ithuba eliphezulu lokuba uya kukubeka kwiimvavanyo ezininzi ukuze ufumanise ukuba uyathandana okanye akunjalo. Umangalisiwe, andithi? Isizathu soku sinokuba uninzi lwabasetyhini bahlala bekujonga ukuthandana njengento enzima. Baza kuzama konke okusemandleni abo ukuqinisekisa ukuba bangena kubudlelwane nomfana onesidima. Mhlawumbi, yiyo loo nto abafazi behlala bethatha ixesha lokuthatha isigqibo sokuba bafanele ukuthandana nomfana.
Kodwa ngekhe uhlale unethamsanqa lokufumanisa ukuba intombazana yakho ikubeka kuvavanyo. Isizathu kukuba abantu basetyhini bahlala bekwenza oku ngendlela echuliweyo. Baza kuqinisekisa ukuba awuyazi inyani yokuba bakuvavanya. Ke ngoko, ukukunceda ukwazi ukuba intombazana yakho iyakuvavanya, nantsi eminye imiqondiso onokuhamba ngayo.
1.Ukubuza Ngokudlulileyo
Umntu obhinqileyo angangabinamdla wokwazi ukuba uthandana nabani okanye njani ukuthandana kwakho ne ex (es) yakho. Ngapha koko, unokufuna ukwazi ukuba ubudlelwane bakho buphele njani kwaye kutheni ulahle i-ex yakho kunye ne-vice-versa. Indlela othetha ngayo malunga nobudlelwane bakho obudlulileyo kunye naba (ex) bamnceda ekukuvavanyeni. Ngokubuza imibuzo enjalo, uzama ukufumanisa ukuba ungumntu onokuthenjwa na kwaye ingaba wenza into elungileyo ngokuhamba kunye nawe.
2. Uhlala kubude beengalo kude kuwe
Ukuba ucinga ukuba abanye abantu basetyhini ngamanye amaxesha kunzima ukufumana, ke oku kuyinyani. Awunakukukholelwa oku kodwa ngamanye amaxesha uninzi lwabasetyhini ludlala nzima ukufumana kwaye banokwenza nantoni na ukuhlala kubude bengalo kuwe. Benza oku ukujonga nje ukuba uza kumthabathela phi kwaye ukuba uzimisele ngokwenene. Usenokuzenza ngathi akanamdla kuwe okanye ubaleka kuwe. Isizathu esikwenza oko kunokuba luloyiko lokuba ungaphulukana nomdla kuye ngalo mzuzu eqala ukuthandana nawe kunye nokutyala iimvakalelo kunye nexesha kubudlelwane.
3. Uhlala ezisa oyena Mhlobo wakhe usenyongweni
Ngexesha lokuqala leentsuku, unokufumana intombazana yakho izisa oyena mhlobo wayo. Unokunyanzelisa ukuba udibane nabahlobo bakhe abasenyongweni kodwa sithembe ukuba le ayisiyi kuba yintlanganiso nje kodwa imeko yovavanyo kuwe. Umfazi unokukuthanda kodwa angabinakuqiniseka malunga nokuba ungumntu othandana naye. Anokoyika ukuba iimvakalelo zakhe azinakumnceda ekukhetheni iqabane elifanelekileyo kwaye ke, unokuza nabahlobo bakhe abasenyongweni kunye naye okanye afune ukuqinisekiswa.
4. Uyazirhoxisa iziCwangciso zakhe
Unokurhoxisa izicwangciso hayi kuba engafuni ukuphuma nawe okanye uxakeke yinto ebalulekileyo. Endaweni yoko, unokurhoxisa izicwangciso kuphela ukujonga indlela osabela ngayo kuyo okanye uza kuzama konke okusemandleni akho kwixesha elizayo. Ngapha koko, ukwenza oko kuyamnceda ukuba abone ukuba uza kuzama kangakanani ukuchitha ixesha kunye naye okanye uza kuzama ngandlela zonke ukumqinisekisa ukuba aphume nawe. Ke, ukuba umfazi wakho uyakuthanda kodwa uqhubeka nokucima izicwangciso, musa ukunikezela ngokulula. Kungenzeka ukuba ulinde wena ukuba umqinisekise ngendlela ebhetele.
5. Uthetha NgeeEx zakhe
Siyazi ukuba awungekhe uyithande into yokuba intombazana yakho ikhankanye ama-ex (es) akho kodwa uyazi ukuba angathetha ngabo ukuze abone ukuba zithini na iimpendulo zakho. Usenokuthetha ngazo ukuze abone ukuba uphulukana nokuphola kwakho kwaye usebenze kakhulu okanye uhlala uzolile kwaye umthembile. Ngapha koko, wenza njalo ukuze abone ukuba uyakhweleta okanye uzikhusele kakhulu xa ekhankanya ama-ex akhe. Okwangoku ukuba ukhubeke ngaphandle kwexesha, oku kunokumenza akholelwe ukuba awunguye umntu ekufuneka ethandana naye.
6. Uyakucela ukuba umncede
Okwangoku intombazana yakho ikucela ukuba uyincede, nceda ungayijongi njengesicelo esicacileyo. Kungenxa yokuba inokuba sesinye seempawu zokuba uyakuvavanya. Wonke umntu wasetyhini kweli hlabathi ufuna indoda esebenza ngokulinganayo kwaye ekhutheleyo. Nokuba angakwazi ukwenza umsebenzi eyedwa, uya kuzama ukucela uncedo lwakho ukujonga ukuba ungumntu oluncedo kwaye unesisa. Ukucela uncedo lwakhe yindlela yokufumanisa ukuba angaze athembele kuwe ngamaxesha anzima.
7. Uhlala ejonga zonke iinkcukacha eziNye Ngawe
Ukumbamba amasango kuvulelwe yena okanye ukutsala izitulo kuye kunokubonakala kuyinto entle kuwe kodwa oku kuxela lukhulu ngobuntu bakho. Ukuba ucinga ukuba abantu basetyhini bayazibona ezi zinto, uchanekile. Ayisiyiyo le kuphela, kodwa banokujonga indlela otya ngayo, uthetha kwaye ubaphathe ngayo abanye abantu. Unokuyalela isitya esinqabileyo ukuvavanya ukuba utya njani okanye unike ingqalelo kwindlela othetha ngayo okanye ohamba ngayo. Kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba kufuneka wenze ngathi uyayenza phambi kwentombazana yakho kuba ayizukufumana xesha.
8.Ubuza Ngeminqweno Yakho Neenjongo Zakho Ezizayo
Nangona ungayifumana icekeceke kwaye i-cheesy ukuthetha ngeenjongo zakho zexesha elizayo, oku kunokuba lolunye lovavanyo olunokuthi lubekwe ngumfazi. Usenokufuna ukujonga ukuba zithini na iinjongo zakho kwaye unamabhongo. Impendulo yakho iyakumnceda ekwazini ukuba ulibona njani ikamva lakho kwaye uyangena kulo. Ke, ngokuzayo xa intombazana yakho ikubuza malunga nezicwangciso zakho zexesha elizayo kunye neenjongo, qiniseka ukuba awuphenduli nje ngenxa yako.
9. Uthetha Ngabahlobo Bakho
Kukho ithuba eliphezulu lokuba intombazana yakho ingathetha ngabahlobo bakho kwaye ngamanye amaxesha, isenokukhalaza ngabo. Umzekelo, usenokuthi awukho kwiqabane elifanelekileyo okanye unabahlobo abangaqhelekanga. Ayisiyiyo le kuphela kodwa kunokubakho namaxesha apho angangabonisi mdla ekuhlaleni nabahlobo bakho.
Ukuba unxulumene noninzi lweempawu, kunokucaca ukuba intombazana yakho ikubeka kuvavanyo oluthile. Kodwa oko akuthethi, kuya kufuneka uzive uphoxekile okanye umncame. Endaweni yokuba uhlale unomonde kwaye uzame ukubeka umzamo ngakumbi nangakumbi kulwalamano lwakho. Ngale ndlela uya kuba nakho ukungqina ukuba ungathandana naye kuphela kodwa uphumelele nokuzithemba kwakhe.
