'Mna nomyeni wam sinothando, umtshato oxhasayo, kodwa ndinexhala lokuba silalana kangaphi. Ihlala ilungile xa sinayo, kodwa akukho namnye kuthi oziva enesidingo sokuba nayo rhoqo. Uqikelelo lwam kukuba kanye ngenyanga? (Nangona ndiyazi ukuba ngamanye amaxesha kuncinci!) Ndinolu loyiko lufihliweyo lokuba oku akwanele, kwaye wonke umntu otshatileyo endimaziyo uba neentlobano zesini rhoqo. Andikhathali nganto? Okanye ngaba sifanele senze umgudu ongakumbi wokwenza oko?
Siphila kwihlabathi elitsha eliphambeneyo, kwaye akukho nto iphikayo ukuba, kulo lonke elaseMelika, kukho ukwehla okukhulu ngokwesondo . So senza ntoni kule mihla endaweni yokuba silale ngesondo? Kulula! Sijikeleza kwiifowuni zethu okanye sijonge (kunye nokucanda) ukuya kwi-HBO, iNetflix, iHulu kunye neNkulumbuso.
Kwakhona sitshata kamva ebomini, kwaye njengoko umyinge weminyaka yomtshato wokuqala inyuka, umntu oqhelekileyo uza emtshatweni kunye neminyaka emininzi yokusebenza ngokwesondo okungahambelaniyo. Kufuphi: Siqhele ukwenza ezinye izinto kwaye singabelani ngesondo.
Ngokutsho kwe UPhando lweNtlalo ngokuBanzi, uphando lubonisa ukuba umntu otshatileyo oqhelekileyo uba neentlobano zesini phantse kanye ngeveki. Kodwa kukho isizathu sokukholelwa ukuba eli nani lixeliweyo ayilunganga . Ngokukodwa, ngenxa yokuba abantu bayazazi ngobomi babo bokwabelana ngesondo, bahlala beyinyanisile. Umzekelo, isixa sokuthengiswa kweekhondom musa ukuhambelana ubungakanani bezenzo zokwabelana ngesondo apho abantu baxela usebenzisa ikhondom. Ngokukodwa.
Nantsi inyaniso: Kuqhelekile ngokwenene ukuba ukhathazeke malunga nokuba ngaba ulala ngokwaneleyo okanye awukho, ngokukodwa kwinkcubeko echaphazelekayo ngayo. Kodwa ndifuna ukugxininisa enye yeenkolelo zam eziphambili: Nokuba yeyiphi na imilinganiselo yesini olalanayo iqhelekile, okoko nje wena neqabane lakho nilungile ngokuphindaphindiweyo.
Ukuba umtshato super-ulonwabo, kwaye nobabini wanelisekile ukuba ngesondo kanye ngenyanga kwaye ukudibanisa ngezinye iindlela, wena eqhelekileyo ngokupheleleyo. Baninzi abanye abantu abafana nawe! Kodwa kufuneka uzibuze lo mbuzo:
Ngaba ngokwenene ndifuna ukwabelana ngesondo ngakumbi, okanye ngaba ndinenkxalabo yokuba ubudlelwane bam abukho ngokwesondo ngokwaneleyo nangona ndonwabile?
Ukuba ubunzulu ufuna ukulala ngesondo ngakumbi, kwaye uziva unganelisekanga ngokwesondo, ngoko kufuneka uzise kunye nomyeni wakho ngaphandle kwegumbi lokulala. Yithi, Hee, bendicinga ukuba singazama le ndawo intsha ndifunde ngayo? Okanye, ndingathanda ukunyusa ubuninzi bethu bezesondo; Ngaba kufuneka siqale ukubeka isondo kwikhalenda? Emva koko, YENZA oko. Beka isondo kwikhalenda. Kuyamangalisa ukuba kulula kangakanani ukunyusa ubuninzi bezesondo ngokulungiselela ngokwasengqondweni nasemzimbeni, kwangoko emini.
Ukuba wanelisekile ngokwesondo, kodwa unenkxalabo yokuba umyeni wakho akakho, buza loo mbuzo ngokuthe ngqo. Babe, ngaba wanelisekile luhlobo lwesini esilwa nalo kunye nokuphindaphindwa? Andinayo ingxaki nayo, kodwa ndifuna nje ukuqiniseka ukuba uziva ulungile ngobomi bethu bobulili. Mhlawumbi kukho izinto angathanda ukuzitshintsha. Mhlawumbi angathanda ukuba uqalise ngakumbi okanye ube ngowongamileyo. Mhlawumbi angathanda ukuzama izenzo okanye izikhundla ezintsha. Mhlawumbi ukuzisa oku kuya kuvula ucango olukhulu, incoko evulekileyo. Kuvakala ngathi unomyeni omangalisayo, oya kuvulelwa ukuba niyicinge kunye lento.
Kodwa mhlawumbi yena yi wanelisekile, kwaye iinkxalabo zakho ziyafana nezigidi zabantu— wonke omnye umntu mhlawumbi unobomi bokwabelana ngesondo obusendle kakhulu, kwaye asinabo . Kule meko, ndifuna ukuba uphefumle kwaye ukhumbule ukuba kukho uluhlu olupheleleyo lwesini esiqhelekileyo. Le nto undixelela yona ivakala ihambelana kakhulu nekhosi.
Oko kwathiwa, ukuba ukhona zange unomdla kwisondo kuzo zonke kwaye ufuna ukuba, unokuthetha nodokotela wakho. Ngamanye amaxesha, iimeko ezithile zempilo kunye namayeza anokuthintela i-libido yakho. Kwaye iindaba ezimnandi: Kukho izilungiso kule nto!
Umgca wezantsi: Ubomi bethu bokwabelana ngesondo abukho malunga nokuhambisana neeJones. Jonga kunye neqabane lakho. Ukuba wonwabile kwaye wonwabile, ndonwabile. Isiphelo sebali.
UJenna Birch ngumbhali we Umsantsa wothando: Isicwangciso esiQhelekileyo sokuPhumelela ebomini naseLuthandweni , Isikhokelo sokuthandana kunye nokwakha ubudlelwane kubafazi banamhlanje. Ukumbuza umbuzo, anokuthi awuphendule kwikholamu ezayo kaPampereDpeopleny, mthumelele i-imeyile apha jen.birch@sbcglobal.net .
ENXULUMENEYO: Kodwa ngokunzulu, kukangaphi apho abantu abathandanayo besabelana ngesondo?
