Umyeni wam uzibona engumntu othanda ifashoni kwaye uhlala enezimvo ngento endiyinxibayo. Xa ndikhetha ibhulukhwe, uyandibuza, ‘Ayingonyaka ophelileyo na ezo?’ Xa ndinxiba ibhlawukhwe, ‘Ayisiyonto incinane na leyo?’ Silwa ngayo ngalo lonke ixesha, yaye iphelela ekubeni ancwine athi, 'Kulungile, nokuba yintoni na. ’ Ndinokumyeka njani, aze aqhubeke enxiba iimpahla endizithandayo?
Ukuziphatha komyeni wakho kuza njengokulawula, ngokungathandabuzekiyo. Kusenokubakho isizathu esisisiseko (siya kufikelela kuloo nto), kodwa inyaniso ihlala: Awunatyala mntu ukuba uchaze indlela okhetha ukuwunxiba ngayo umzimba wakho, ngakumbi iqabane ekufanele ukuba liyakwakha endaweni yokukunkqonkqoza. phantsi. Ndiyavuya ukwazi ukuba ukuziphatha kwakhe akupholile, kwaye ungafuni ukutshintsha ukuba ungubani.
Kodwa, ekubeni lo mntu umthandayo kwaye wagqiba ekubeni uchithe ubomi bakho, makhe sithethe malunga nendlela olungisa ngayo le nto-ngeendlela ezimbini.
Inyathelo 1: Mxelele indlela amagqabaza akhe ngayo kukwenza uzive .
Kubalulekile ukuba uchaze umphumo wamagqabaza akhe kuwe ngokweemvakalelo, kunokuba ulwe ngehempe okanye isihlangu esibuzwayo. (Nangona ndiyifumana-ufuna ukukhusela ezo zi-funky, i-retro clogs!) Emva koko, umsindo uyindlela yokusabela okwesibini kwintlungu ephantsi, kwaye, kule meko, kubuhlungu ukuba umyeni wakho akayithandi into oyinxibayo, akayithandi. Ukungathembeli kukhetho lwakho okanye uzama ukupolisa umzimba wakho. Akukho ndlela ke loo nto ibonakalisa uthando, inkxaso kunye nokutsala umdla.
Qinisekisa ukuba uyichaza ngokucacileyo indlela ovakalelwa ngayo. Isenokuba yinto enje, Babe, indenza buhlungu ngokwenene into yokuba, ngokukhetha ibhulukhwe okanye ibhulukhwe ethile, ndenza into engalunganga. Okanye, ndiziva ndilawulwa xa uphawula malunga nazo zonke iimpahla zam; ngathi awundithembi, okanye ucinga ukuba ndimema ingqalelo. Makabone ukuba ayingomkhenkce omncinci lo. Endaweni yoko, amagqabaza akhe abangela indawo ebuhlungu yokwenyani kubudlelwane bakho. Yibalikroti. Yiba sesichengeni.
Inyathelo lesi-2: Buza ukuba unxiba ntoni iyamchaphazela .
Kodwa ke mbuze oku ngobunono, ngaphandle kwengxabano. Ngamanye amazwi, ungayibizi njengokubuya kwamehlo, oku, Omg, kutheni ungakhathali nje? kodwa kunoko njengombuzo ocacileyo nothe ngqo: Yintoni ekukhathazayo kangaka ngezi jeans? Ndingathanda ngokwenene ukwazi ukuba oku kuyakubangela ngandlela ithile. Ngaba singathetha ngayo?
Mhlawumbi ayidibani nempahla, kwaye ngokubanzi inento yokwenza nempilo yakho yomtshato okanye amanqanaba akho obomi. Mhlawumbi uziva engakhuselekanga kulwalamano lwakho kwaye uzama ukunika ngokwakhe ukhuseleko olongezelelweyo. Okanye mhlawumbi la magqabaza ayimpendulo yotshintsho komnye wenu, okanye nobabini. Ngaba sele ekwi-funk? Ngaba ubetha ijim kwaye ufumana ukuzithemba ngakumbi? Ukuba ubomi bakho buhamba kakuhle kwaye sele ebetha, unokuthi ngokungaziqondi ubambe iindlela zokulawula ukukugcina ukufutshane, ngokungathi uyoyika ukuba uya kukhula amaphiko kwaye ubhabhe umke.
Kwaye ke, ewe, kunokwenzeka ukuba oku kunento yokwenza nolunye uhlobo lokungakhuseleki: Inyani yokuba ekubona njengomfanekiso wakhe kunye nokuma kwakhe ekuhlaleni. Ngaba ihempe yakho ayingeni kwiklabhu yelizwe afuna ukuya kuyo? Ngaba unexhala lokuba awunxibi ngokwaneleyo kubahlobo bakhe abatsha bomculo? Nje ukuba umcinezele kwi ngoba ngasemva kwezimvo zakhe, amathuba okuba abone impazamo (kunye nokwenzakala) kweendlela zakhe. Kwaye umkhumbuze ukuba uyamthanda yena, kungekhona nantoni na phezu komhlaba.
Ndiyazi ukuba oku kunzima. Kodwa kubudlelwane, ukuba sesichengeni phantse kusoloko kuyimpendulo. Ukuba unokusondela kule ncoko ngothando oluninzi, ndicinga ukuba unokukwazi ukuphelisa la mazwana ngokupheleleyo.
UJenna Birch ungumbhali we Umsantsa wothando: Isicwangciso esiQhelekileyo sokuPhumelela ebomini naseLuthandweni , isikhokelo sokuthandana kunye nobudlelwane bokwakha ubudlelwane kubafazi banamhlanje. Ukumbuza umbuzo, anokuthi awuphendule kwikholamu ezayo kaPampereDpeopleny, mthumelele i-imeyile apha jen.birch@sbcglobal.net .
ENXULUMENEYO: Umyeni Wam Ucinga Ukuba Ndiswele kanti Andiziva Ndiviwe. Sisiya phi ukusuka Apha?
