Kwiinyanga ezintathu ezidlulileyo, umyeni wam walala nomfazi awadibana naye kwi-nightclub. Emva kobo busuku, akazange aphinde athethe naye. Inene ubonakala evumile kuba ityala belimtya ephila, hayi kuba efuna ukuhamba okanye engonwabanga emtshatweni wethu. Andifuni ukushiya umyeni wam, okubonakala ngathi wenze impazamo yakanye kwitheko lomhlobo wakhe osenyongweni, kodwa ndiyangcangcazela. ndinomsindo. Ndivakalelwa kukuba andimjongi kakuhle, kuba andizange ndicinge ukuba luhlobo lwendoda enokuze iqhathe. Ngoku ndiziva ngathi andonelanga kuye, kuba wahamba walala nomnye umntu emtshatweni ngenye indlela elungileyo. Sidlula njani kule nto?
Ndiyazi ukuba usentlungwini enkulu ngoku. Ngubani ongayi kuba? Ukukopa kubuhlungu kwaye kunokubakho kubo bobabini ababandakanyekayo. Kodwa ndiza kukuxelela kwangaphambili ukuba ndicinga ukuba ubudlelwane bakho bunokusindiswa ukuba oku kudlalwa ngokuthe ngqo: Umyeni wakho wenze impazamo yexesha elinye kwaye uziva ebuhlungu ngayo. Netyala awavuma kulo? Yinto entle leyo. Ezo mvakalelo zamshukumisela ukuba akuxelele inyani, ngoko nobabini ninokujamelana nale meko nize nifunde indlela yokuchacha kuyo.
Kuya kufuneka usebenzise le nkqubo inamanyathelo amabini ukufumana isikhanyiso somzekeliso ekupheleni kwetonela. Inxalenye yokuqala kukuphelisa umsindo nengqumbo onayo ngenxa yoko akwenzileyo. Inxalenye yesibini iqhubela phambili, ukuze ukhule womelele.
ICandelo Lokuqala: Ukumisela Iimvakalelo Zakho
Andizukucebisa oku kuzo zonke iimeko, kodwa iyavakala kule: Kuya kufuneka ubuze umyeni wakho iinkcukacha ezimbalwa malunga. Njani kwenzeka oku. Awufuni iinkcukacha malunga nezenzo zomzimba, kodwa kunoko iziganeko ezikhokelele ekukhohliseni kwangempela. Xa unolwazi oluncinci malunga nesiganeko esibi, ingqondo idla ngokuzalisa izikhewu ngesona siphumo sibi kakhulu. Kunokwenzeka ukuba unxile kakhulu kweli qela le-bachelor kwaye akazange abe nolwazi malunga nento awayeyenza de kube sekuhlwile.
Andikuthetheleli ukuziphatha; bekungafanelanga ukuba abe kule meko ukuqala. Kodwa ndinombono wokuba uthotho lweziganeko ngelishwa lunokuba lwenzekile olukhokelela kwindawo yokuma yobusuku obunye, kwaye ukuva oko kuya kukunceda ukuba uqonde ukuba bekungekuko ukuba ubungonelanga okanye umtshato wakho awulunganga.
Kwi-flip side, zininzi izinto ongazidingi ukuba uyazi. Awudingi ukwazi iinkcukacha zendlela abahambe ngayo. Kwakukopela, kucacile kwaye kulula. Kwaye yiloo nto. Nceda ungabuzi umbala. Awudingi ukwazi ukuba ngubani na lo mntu. Melana nesilingo sokufumana zonke iinkcukacha malunga nobusuku-ufuna ukwazi kuphela malunga nezo ziya kukunceda uhlale usempilweni ngokwasengqondweni.
Thatha ixesha lokujongana neemvakalelo ezinkulu, ezinomsindo, ezibuhlungu, ezinomsindo; uvumelekile ngokupheleleyo ukuba uzive zonke ezi zinto. Yikhale. Chitha ixesha kunye nentombazana enokukunceda ulungise iimvakalelo zakho. Yenza izinto ozithandayo, njengokuphuma uyokubethwa ngumoya okanye ukuthatha iklasi yokuzilolonga. Tyala imali kuwe, kubandakanywa ukungena kunyango (endiyincoma kakhulu).
Yaye khumbula, abantu bayazenza iimpazamo. Nangona kunjalo, umsebenzi wakhe emva koku kukukwenza uzive ukhuselekile kwakhona.
ICandelo leSibini: Ukukhula Kudlule
Kufuneka nixoxe, njengesibini, into eniyidingayo ukuze nizive ningcono, nikhuselekile kwaye ninamandla kobu budlelwane buqhubela phambili.
Ngelixa uthatha itoni yexesha lakho, gxila kwimisebenzi yokwakha ubuhlobo obusondeleyo nomyeni wakho. Ubusuku bomhla buhle. Ukuthatha umsetyenzana wokuzilibazisa, njengokukhwela ibhayisekile okanye i-yoga, nako kunokuba luncedo. Qala ukubukela umboniso omtsha kunye, ngakumbi njengoko kusondela ubusika. Ngokwenene, gxininisa nje ukuthandana kwakhona omnye komnye. Gcina ilula. Musa ukunyanzelisa iintetho ezinzulu ngaphandle kokuba wena funa kwaye isidingo bona.
Ngokukodwa okwethutyana, ukuba umyeni wakho kukho naziphi na iimeko ezenza ungakhululeki, chaza into oyifunayo. Mhlawumbi ngokwenene awufuni kuye naziphi na izicwangciso ezinzima etywaleni, okanye ufuna ukuba ahlole rhoqo xa ephuma emva kwexesha okanye kuhambo lomsebenzi-phambi kokulala, kwaye mhlawumbi ngomnxeba. Ude ube unokumthemba ngokupheleleyo kwakhona, kuya kufuneka enze umgudu ongakumbi.
Jonga iimpawu zokuba uyazisola kwaye uzama ukuyilungisa le nto, ngokunjalo. Ukuba luhlobo lwendoda obucinga ukuba yayilulo ngaphambi kokuba le nto yenzekile-kwaye isenjalo, ngaphandle kwale mpazamo-uzakuzenzela ubuxelegu abudalileyo kwaye asebenze ngokuqhubekayo ukulungisa umonakalo weemvakalelo. Uya kukubuza into oyifunayo. Kwaye xa umxelela, uya kuzenza ezo zinto.
UJenna Birch yintatheli, isithethi kunye nombhali we Umsantsa wothando: Isicwangciso esiQhelekileyo sokuPhumelela ebomini naseLuthandweni , Isikhokelo sokuthandana kunye nokwakha ubudlelwane kubafazi banamhlanje. Ukumbuza umbuzo, anokuthi awuphendule kwikholamu ezayo kaPampereDpeopleny, mthumelele i-imeyile apha jen.birch@sbcglobal.net .
