Umbuzo: Ngamaxesha asemva kobhubhane kwaye ndinesithukuthezi emva kokuba ndikude noluntu njengomfazi ongatshatanga unyaka. KumaXesha Angaphambili, ndandingakuchasanga ukubuyisela umntu ekhayeni lam ukuba ndifuna ukuhlanganisana naye, nokuba ndandisandula ukudibana nabo. Ngoku, nangona kunjalo, ndiziva ndikhululekile kwaye ndiziva ndikhululekile (zombini malunga nendlela endiyijonga ngayo emva kokugqoka i-sweatpants unyaka, kwaye nje, kumgangatho wokhuseleko). Nceda! Ndivakalelwa kukuba i-mojo yam yesini kunye nentlalontle yonakele.
URachel L., eNew Jersey
A: Rachel, ungumfazi wonyaka. Hayi nje eyethu-yesizwe. Kuba wonke umnyangi, ingcali impilo ngokwesondo kunye nomfazi ongatshatanga esiye sathetha naye waziva izinto ezininzi ezifanayo ukuba uchaza Kodwa ngethamsanqa, aba bacebisi banamanye amacebiso kunye namaqhinga okulawula i-post-quarantine entsha yokuthandana, kunye nexhala lakho.
ENXULUMENEYO: Ezi zezona Toys zeSex ezi-5 eziPhezulu zobhubhani-kwaye bonke banale nto ngokufanayo
Inyaniso #1: Awuwedwa-Abantu abaninzi banexhala malunga nokuthandana kunye nesondo ngoku
Ngokutsho kwe-sex therapist UTammy Nelson , abathengi bavakalisa inkxalabo enkulu malunga nokungena kwakhona kungekuphela nje emsebenzini kunye nokuzonwabisa kodwa nakwimikhwa yabo yakudala yesini. Ukulahleka kwezakhono zentlalontle, ukuchetywa kweenwele ezingalunganga ekhaya, iipounds ezongezelelweyo zobhubhane, uNelson ubhala. Njengoko inyaniso ifika, abantu abaninzi bayothuka.Inyathelo lokuqala, iingcali ziyavuma, kukuvuma ukungakhululeki kwakho. Ngoku ka UFaro waseVienna , New York City-based umtshato kunye nosapho therapist, Ukulawula ukuxhalaba kufuna ukuba sivume ngobunono kuqala kwaye sichithe ixesha kunye nayo. Kungcono ukuba siqhelane nayo kunokuba siyikhanyele kwaye siyifihle. (Useke waseka i-app yezempilo yengqondo ekwi-intanethi ebizwa Ngowam ukunceda abathengi ukuba benze kanye oko.) Isikhumbuzo esikhulu kukukhumbula ukuba sisonke kule nto kunye. Ukungazithembi, uloyiko kunye namathandabuzo onokuba nawo mhlawumbi abonakala ngendlela enye okanye enye [kumaqabane anokuba ngamaqabane], utshilo.
Inyaniso #2: Ukuziqhelanisa Kwenza Kugqibelele
Ke xa ulubonile unxunguphalo lwakho, udlula njani? amanyathelo Baby, uthi Emily Morse, ngesondo podcaster kunye Dr. Ruth isizukulwana esitsha ngokutsho New York Times . Emva konyaka wokuncitshiswa kwentlalontle, uninzi lwethu silibele indlela yokuncwasa kunye nokuthandana ne-IRL. Iindaba ezimnandi zezokuba ngokuziqhelanisa uya komelela kwaye ube neentlobano zesini kunangaphambili. Kwisiqendu samva nje sepodcast yakhe Ukwabelana ngesondo noEmily , ukhumbuza abaphulaphuli ukuba badibane nembono yomntu abanomdla kuye, basondele kuye ngaphambili ukuze bangothuki kwaye baxukuxe ngokuchasene nabo (kodwa kungekhona ngendlela eyoyikisayo yaseHollywood) ngelixa bethetha ukubazisa ukuba unguye. unomdla.
Kungenjalo, iingcali zicacile ukuba akufuneki uzibethe ukuba awuphumanga ujingi kwii-chandeliers-okanye ube nethamsanqa ngeetoni zamaqabane-njengoko ubusenzayo ngaphambi kobhubhane. Austin, Texas-based Tammy Shaklee, LGBTQ ally kunye umthetheleli kunye proprietor H4M inkonzo matchmaking, uthi mna ngokobuqu ndicinga elidlulileyo prolific hook-up inkcubeko iye yacaphuka kancinane, ubuncinane ngoku. Ndiva abantu abangatshatanga beqonda ngakumbi. Intsingiselo, ukuba oku kunokuba yingozi, ngaba lo mntu ndingabeka esichengeni ngenxa yakhe? Nje ngokuba uthathe isitofu sokugonya ngokubalulekileyo akuthethi ukuba umntu ongatshatanga naye wenze okufanayo. Ukuba bavakalisa isizathu sokungasithathi isitofu sokugonya, ngaba lo mntu ufanelekile ukuba adibane naye?
Inyaniso #3: Cacisa Wena kunye noMhla Wakho
Endaweni yemibuzo evuleleke ngakumbi, ndiva abantu bebuza KUNINI ukuba unayo i-COVID? Ngowuphi umhla isitofu sakho sokugonya sesibini esathathwa ngaso? Utsho uShaklee. Abantu abaninzi [bathatha] uxanduva lobuqu lokuqinisekisa ukuba sele iiveki ezimbini emva kokudubula kwesibini. Sifuna iimpawu zoxanduva, ukuzithiba kunye nenkuthalo efanelekileyo kwimpilo yomntu kunye neyoluntu.
Ugqirha womtshato kunye nosapho u-Pharaon uyavumelana: Nokuba ujonge into enzulu, iholide emnandi yasehlotyeni okanye ukudibana, kubaluleke kakhulu ukucacisa into oyifunayo ukuze uzive ukhululekile kwaye ukhuselekile. Ziphe ixesha lokucinga ngezinto ezibalulekileyo kuwe: Ngaba uyakhathala ukuba umntu uyagonywa? Ngaba unomdla kuphela kubantu abathandana nomntu omnye ngexesha? Ngaba uyafuna ukwazi ngakumbi malunga nendlela abaphila ngayo ukuze ukwazi ukubona ukuba uziva ukhululekile na kuwe? Ukwacebisa ukuba ngelixa i-intanethi okanye i-IRL yokuthandana ayifuni kutshintsha kakhulu ngenxa yeenkxalabo ze-COVID, Kuhle ukuba uqale kancinci njengoko inkqubo yakho iqhelana kwaye ujonge ngaphakathi kuwe kunye nendlela oziva ngayo emva kokuswayipha, ukuthumela imiyalezo kunye nokuthandana. . Ngaloo ndlela, ukubuyela kwimihla yomntu kungekhona nje indlela yokubuyela kwisondo, kodwa kunye nokuzilolonga ekuphuculeni ulwazi lwakho malunga nento oyenzayo kwaye awuyithandi kubudlelwane, nokuba ubudlelwane buhlala buhlala. iiyure ezimbalwa kuphela.
Ingcebiso yethu esiyithandayo, nangona kunjalo, ayinanto yakwenza nomsebenzi wangaphakathi wokwakha imbeko. Ivela kumdidiyeli womdlalo uShaklee, kwaye yenye esinokuyamkela ngokulula-ukuthenga. Njengoko eyibeka, ukuba wena, njengabaninzi bethu, ufumene i-Covid 15 okanye i-20 yeeponti, emva koko [uphume uye kuthenga] iimpahla ezintle, ezintsha kunye nempahla yangaphantsi eshukumayo.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, unyango oluncinci lwentengiso aluzange lwenzakalisa mntu.
