Yeka ukubuza umntwana wakho oselula ukuba babenosuku oluhle esikolweni (kunye nento omele bayithethe endaweni)

Amagama Aphezulu Ebantwaneni

Umgangatho:

Umhla Wokuzalwa:

Thumela

Ndithumele Nge-Imeyile Veza Kwindawo

Abakwishumi elivisayo badume kakubi kwaye becinga ngeziganeko zeenyanga ezili-15 ezidlulileyo, ngaba ungabagxeka? Kodwa ngakumbi xa kukhankanywa izehlo zamva nje (ukufunda okoqobo, ii-prom ezirhoxisiweyo, unxibelelwano olulinganiselweyo nabahlobo, uludwe luyaqhubeka) apho abazali kufuneka bajonge kulutsha olufikisayo malunga nendlela oluziva ngayo. Inye nje ingxaki—rhoqo xa ubuza umntwana wakho ukuba belunjani usuku lwabo, bayakhala. Yiyo loo nto siye saya kwiingcali ukuze sifumane iingcebiso zabo.

Kodwa ngaphambi kokuba singene kwinto emayithethe (kwaye ungayithethi) kumntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo, lungisa ucwangciso. Kuba ukuba ufuna umntwana wakho abelane ngento ethile (nantoni na!) malunga nosuku lwabo, kuya kufuneka ukuba uthathe uxinzelelo.

Emva kokusebenza nabakwishumi elivisayo iminyaka emininzi, ndinokuthi eyona ndlela ilungileyo yokuba abazali benze abantwana babo bavuleleke kubo ayikokuthetha nantoni na ecacileyo, kodwa ngokubandakanyeka kwimisebenzi kunye nabo, ugqirha. Amanda stemen uyasixelela. Oku kuvumela incoko ukuba ihambe ngokwemvelo.

Iindlela ezi-3 ezivunyiweyo zokunyanga uxinzelelo

Emotweni.Bavumele bakhethe umculo / ipodcast xa bengena emotweni, icebisa ithi therapist UJacqueline uyamangalisa . Xa unika umntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo ithuba lokukhetha umculo, kukho izinto ezimbalwa ozenzayo. 1. Ubenza bakhululeke. 2. Uthatha nayiphi na inkcaso enokubakho kwi-equation kuba benza ukhetho kwaye 3. Uyabazisa ukuba ukhetho lwabo / incasa kumculo / imbono ibalulekile. Usenako ukubeka umda, njengokuthi 'akukho siqalekiso' okanye 'akukho mazwi anogonyamelo' (ingakumbi ukuba kukho abantakwenu abancinci) kodwa ngokuvumela umntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo ukuba akhethe umculo, umnika umzuzwana ukuba akwazi ukuphumla kwaye baya kuphumla. uya kukwamkela ngakumbi ukuvuleka kuwe. Ngelixa ubukele umabonakude.Ngonyango losapho ngalunye Saba Harouni Lurie , enye yeendlela ezilungileyo zokunxibelelana nomntwana wakho kukonwabela ifilimu kunye naye. Ukubukela umboniso bhanyabhanya abawukhethileyo kunye nabo kwaye emva koko bathethe ngayo phezu kwesitya se-ayisikrimu kunokuba mnandi kakhulu kunokuba baxoxwe ngesimo sabo sobudlelwane okanye indlela abaziva ngayo ngekamva labo, utshilo. Ngelixa uhambayo.Kunokuba nincokole ngokukhawuleza emva kokuphuma kwesikolo, yiqhubeni nihambe nihambe okanye nilungele ukulala, sicebisa oko isazi ngengqondo yabantwana. UTamara Glen Soles, PhD. Ukuhamba ngecala okanye ukuhlala ecaleni komntwana wakho ebhedini yakhe kuthetha ukuba anijongani ngqo emehlweni. Oku kudla ngokwenza kube lula ukuba ulutsha luvuleleke kwaye lube sesichengeni. Ngexesha lomsebenzi abawukhethileyo.Qinisekisa ukuba ukhetha imisebenzi umntwana wakho asele enomdla kuyo. Kungcono ukuba nobabini niyayonwabela, kodwa qinisekani ukuba bayayenza, utsho uStemen.

Ndithini ke?

Ubuza umntwana wakho ukuba belunjani usuku lwabo kuba ufuna ngokwenene ukwazi. Ngaphandle kwempendulo ekuphela kwayo okhe wayifumana kukuba KULUNGILE (okanye ukuba unethamsanqa, kulungile). Kwaye yiloo nto-into eyayithethwa ukuba ngumqali wencoko evulekileyo ngokukhawuleza iba sisiphelo esifileyo. Okubi nangakumbi, ukuba ubuza lo mbuzo rhoqo ke umntwana wakho ofikisayo ucinga ukuba le yinto nje yokungena, endaweni yokuzama ukufumanisa ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni na ngaphakathi kwentloko yakhe. Isicombululo? Khetha ixesha nendawo efanelekileyo (jonga amanqaku angasentla) uze ufumane okuthe ngqo.

Kunokuba ‘ibinjani imini yakho’, buza imibuzo engqalileyo enjengale ‘yiyiphi into obungayilindelanga okanye ekothusileyo namhlanje?’ okanye ‘yintoni into ekucel’ umngeni ngayo namhlanje?’ utsho uSoles. Okukhona umbuzo othe ngqo, kokukhona uya kufumana impendulo, uyongeza. Nanku omnye umbuzo awuthandayo: ‘Yintoni ekwenze waziva unjani Ndinale nto ?'

URavelo uyavuma ukuba eyona nto ibalulekileyo yile. Ngokubuza imibuzo etyebe ngokwenene, ekumgangatho ophezulu, efana ‘yeyiphi eyona ndawo wawuyithanda kakhulu namhlanje?’ okanye ‘yeyiphi eyona nto yayinzima kakhulu eyenzeke esikolweni?’ uvula incoko yababini engaphaya kwempendulo yelizwi elinye kwaye kukunika ithuba lokuphonononga ngakumbi nomntwana wakho, ingcali iyacacisa. Unokuqhubeka nencoko ngokubuza imibuzo elandelayo efana, 'ibinjani loo nto kuwe?' okanye 'yintoni ongayithandanga ngaloo nto' ukugcina incoko iqhubeka kwaye unike umntwana wakho ithuba lokwabelana ngokwemvelo ngale nto ayivayo. .

Igama lokugqibela lengcebiso: Hlanganisa-musa ukubuza yonke imibuzo ngalo lonke ixesha. Khetha enye okanye ezimbini ngosuku kwaye ungayinyanzeli.

ENXULUMENEYO: Izinto ezi-3 zokuxelela umntwana wakho osemtsha ngalo lonke ixesha (kunye nezi-4 zokuziphepha), ngokutsho kweTherapist

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Ndithumele Nge-Imeyile Veza Kwindawo