Xa wawuthatha imibuzo yeeLwimi zothando kwiminyaka embalwa eyadlulayo kwaye wafumanisa ukuba eyakho yayizizenzo zenkonzo kwaye iqabane lakho yayingamazwi okuqinisekisa, yayilutshintsho olupheleleyo kuni njengesibini ( cue iqabane lakho lihlamba impahla rhoqo ngeCawe kwaye uncoma ubuchule bakhe bokusonga obubukhali). Ngaba intanda-bulumko efanayo inokukunceda kwinzala yakho? Sacofa UGqr. Bethany Cook , isazi ngengqondo yeklinikhi kunye nombhali we Yintoni eyiFanelekileyo-iNdlela yokuPhumelela kunye noKuphila ngokuba nguBazali , ngengcebiso yakhe malunga nendlela yokufumana ulwimi lothando lomntwana wakho-kwaye kutheni kubalulekile. (Qaphela: Eli cebiso lingezantsi lisebenza kakuhle kubantwana abaneminyaka eyi-5 nangaphezulu.)
Ziziphi iilwimi zothando kwakhona?
Yaziswa ngumcebisi ngomtshato kunye nombhali uGqr. Gary Chapman kwincwadi yakhe ka-1992, Iilwimi ezi-5 zothando , ingcamango ngeelwimi zothando kukuqonda nokunxibelelana ngoko kufunekayo ukuze umntu azive ethandwa. Ngena kwiilwimi zothando ezintlanu ezahlukeneyo: amagama okuqinisekisa, ixesha elisemgangathweni, ukufumana izipho, ukubamba umzimba kunye nezenzo zenkonzo.
Kutheni kubalulekile ukwazi ulwimi lothando lomntwana wakho?
Xa abantwana beziva bethandwa akupheleli nje ekubetheleleni ukuzithemba kwabo, kodwa kwakhona kubanika isiseko esiluqilima nemvakalelo yokhuseleko ukuze babe nokuphonononga ngokupheleleyo ihlabathi elibangqongileyo, uchaza uGqr. Cook. Kwaye akabhekiseli nje kutyekelo lomntwana wakho lokubaleka ejikeleza ibala lokudlala-le mvakalelo yokhuseleko ikwanxulumene nokufuna nokuphuhlisa ubudlelwane noontanga, amanye amalungu osapho kunye nabahlobo. Xa usazi ulwimi oluthile lothando lomntwana wakho (okanye ezimbini zabo eziphambili), uyakwazi ukuhambisa amandla akho kwizijekulo ezibonisa ‘ulwimi’ lwakhe. .
Olu lwazi luluncedo ngakumbi xa umntwana wakho enengxaki ngento ethile. Ukuba uyazi ukuba yintoni ulwimi lwabo lothando ngoko uya kuba neendlela zokuziphatha ezithile kwipokotho yakho engasemva oyaziyo ukuba inokubanceda bazive bethandwa (kwaye ngethemba lokutshintsha isimo sabo sengqondo). Ngamanye amazwi, ukwazi ulwimi lothando lomntwana wakho kukunceda uqhagamshelane naye kwaye kunokwenza ukuba ngumzali kube lula.
Ndingafumanisa njani ukuba zeziphi iilwimi ezintlanu ezikhethwa ngumntwana wam?
Nazi iindlela ezimbini zokuchonga ulwimi lothando lomntwana wakho:
- Bandakanya ipesenti ezili-100 kumsebenzi abawuthandayo (njengokwakha ngeMagna-Tiles, ukufunda incwadi kunye okanye ukuhambahamba). Oku kunokuba lixesha elifutshane (yithi, imizuzu eli-10) kodwa qiniseka ukuba ubanika ingqalelo yakho engacananga.
- Bekela bucala isiqwengana sexesha kanye ngeveki ukuze sibe nexesha kwaye sicwangcise kunye phakathi evekini into oya kuyenza, njengokubhaka ikeyiki okanye ukwenza imisebenzi yezandla .
- Bukelani imuvi kunye.
- Yazisa umntwana wakho ukuba uzirhoxisile izicwangciso zakho (kanye ngexesha) xa kuvela iingxabano ukwenza into yabo endaweni yeyakho.
- Ngaba awunalo ixesha lokuhlala phantsi nomntwana wakho ngexesha elikhethekileyo lokudibana kule veki? Hayi, iyenzeka. Ngamanye amaxesha imalunga nokwabelana ngendawo enye, utsho uGqr. Cook. Zama ukubakho kwigumbi labo ngelixa besenza umsebenzi othile (nokuba lucingo lomsebenzi okanye ukusonga impahla) ngelixa bedlala.
- Ngamaxesha athile, yenza omnye wemisebenzi yabantwana bakho njengokukhupha inkunkuma, ukuhlamba izitya okanye ukondlula ibhedi yabo. (Qinisekisa ukuba bayawenza umsebenzi wabo kangangeepesenti ezingama-90 okanye ngaphezulu kwixesha esele benalo!)
- Gcwalisa igesi kwimoto yomntwana wakho.
- Zifudumeze iimpahla zomntwana wakho kwindawo yokomisa kusasa ngemini ebandayo.
- Buyisela iibhetri zento yokudlala eyaphukileyo.
- Bancede ngeprojekthi yesikolo.
- Cela ukumbamba.
- Thenga iibhrashi zepeyinti ezahlukeneyo kwaye upeyinte iingalo zabo, umva kunye nemilenze (oku kunokwenziwa kwindawo yokuhlambela okanye xa ubukele iTV).
- Nika igxalaba elithambileyo xa udlula.
- Bamba izandla xa uhamba.
- Manga umntwana wakho entendeni yezandla zabo (njengaku Isandla Esincamisayo incwadi).
- Bothuse ngesnack abayithandayo xa besiya kuthenga igrosari.
- Bona into ekhethekileyo kwindalo (efana nelitye eligudileyo okanye igqabi elinemibala eqaqambileyo) kwaye ubanikeze.
- Gquba into yokudlala elityelweyo nexabisekileyo ngenowuthi yokwabelana ngenkumbulo ethile yabo kunye nento yokudlala.
- Qokelela iintyatyambo zasendle ukuze ubonise kubo emva kohambo.
- Yenza itshati yezitikha kwaye unike umntwana wakho isincamathelisi okanye inkwenkwezi nanini na xa ubona ukuba ufuna ukuziva exabisekile.
- Shiya inqaku lokhuthazo kubo kwisidlo sabo sasemini.
- Bavumele bakuve uthetha kakuhle ngabo komnye umntu (oku kunokuba sisilwanyana esixutyiweyo).
- Thetha nabo yonke imihla (njengokungathi ndinesibindi okanye ndinokwenza izinto ezinzima).
- Bafowunele okanye ubathumelele umyalezo ngaphandle kwebhlowu ngesicatshulwa esikhuthazayo.
- Yithi ndikuthanda rhoqo kwaye akukho ntambo iqhotyoshelweyo (okt, ungathi ndiyakuthanda kodwa ...).
Indlela yokufaka isibheno kulwimi lothando lomntwana wakho
Ixesha elibalulekile
Ukuba ukuzithemba komntwana wakho kunye nesimo sengqondo sakhe siyenyuka xa uchitha ixesha eli-1:1 kunye, ulwimi lwabo lothando lunokuba lixesha elisemgangathweni. Kukhuthaze oku ngokubekela bucala amaxesha athile evekini ‘elixesha lakho elikhethekileyo’ ucebisa uGqr. Cook. Nazi ezinye iimbono ukuze uqalise.
Imisebenzi yenkonzo
Masithi ngenye imini uncede umntwana wakho alungise igumbi lakhe okanye enze iiqebengwana zetshokholethi azithandayo kuba nje—ngaba umntwana wakho uvuka echulumancile (Ungoyena ubalaseleyo, mama!)? Imisebenzi yenkonzo isenokuba lulwimi lwabo lothando. Nazi ezinye iindlela zokubabonisa ukuba ubakhathalele kangakanani.
Ukubamba umzimba
Ukuba uyazi ukuba xa umntwana wakho eziphatha kakubi (ukuphendula, ukukhwaza, ukubetha, njl.njl.) uyazola xa umbambe, ngoko ukubamba umzimba lulwimi lwabo lothando, utsho uGqr Cook. Ukuthintela ukunyibilika okukhulu, ucebisa ukunika ukubamba ngothando kwiidosi ezincinci nezinkulu xa kunokwenzeka. Nazi iimbono ezine zokwenza kanye loo nto.
Ukupha izipho
Umntwana ontetho yakhe yothando ikukuphana izipho uya kuziva ebonwa, exatyiswa, ekhunjulwa yaye ethandwa xa umphathela nantoni na ukusuka kwizinto ezincinane ukuya kwezinkulu, utsho uGqr. Cook. Basenokuba nengxaki yokulahla izinto abazinikiweyo (nokuba abazange bazisebenzise kwiminyaka emininzi). Kodwa ungakhathazeki, oko akuthethi ukuba kufuneka ukhuphe amakhulu eedola ukubonisa umntwana wakho ukuba uyabathanda-ukunika izipho akuthethi malunga nokuba yimalini exabisa into ethile, kungenxa yokuba ucinga ngabo xa babengekho. andikho nawe. Nazi ezinye iindlela zokubonisa uthando ngokuphana izipho.
Amazwi okuqinisekisa
Uxelela umntwana wakho ukuba unebhongo kangakanani kubo ngokufunda nzima okanye ukuba benze umsebenzi omkhulu wokunyamekela udadewabo omncinci kwaye amehlo abo akhanya ngovuyo-hello, amazwi okuqinisekisa. Amazwi akho ayabakhuthaza ukuba baqhubeke besenza izinto ezintle neziluncedo, utsho uGqr. Cook. Nazi ezinye iimbono zendlela yokubonisa umntwana okhulayo kwiingxelo ezivakalayo zomlomo ngendlela athandwa ngayo.
ENXULUMENEYO: Izinto ezi-5 Umntwana Wengqondo Afuna Siyeke Ukuzithetha Kwiintombi Zethu
