1. Fowunela uMhlobo ukuba aJog inkumbulo yakho
Ixesha elithile lidlulile, kwaye awunayo i-visceral reaction efanayo kwiingcinga ze-ex yakho. Kodwa oku akuthethi ukuba bafumana ukudlula okuzenzekelayo ebomini bakho. Kukho into eyenzekayo emva phayaa eyakwenza buhlungu, yaye nokuba ulibele indlela owawukhathazeke ngayo, qiniseka ukuba abahlobo bakho banokukukhumbuza.
Mhlawumbi nahlukane ngesizathu esivakalayo, uBromley usixelela. Ukuba ukwahlukana akukutsha, kulula ukulibala okanye ukuqaqamba ngenxa yeso sizathu kuba ixesha liyawapholisa amanxeba. Awufuni kuba nomzuzwana emva koko, apho ufana nokuthi, ‘KUNGESI sizathu soqhawula umtshato!’ Qala ngokuthetha nabantu ababekwazi xa wawukunye nomntu wakho. Thumela i sms kwintombazana endithandana nayo uze uyibuze, ‘Ngaba ndikhazimle?’ ‘Ngaba ndonwabile?’ ‘Ngaba ucinga ukuba lo mntu ulungile kum?’ uze ubukele inyaniso.
2. Thembela Amathumbu Akho
Khawuleza, babunjani ubuso bakho xa owayesakuba ebuyile kwabafileyo? Uncumile? Jika bomvu? Roll amehlo akho ngasemva ukakayi lwakho? Le ntsabelo yokuqala isenokuba yayixhomekeke kwindlela nina nobabini eniyekile ngayo.
Unokwenzeka ukuba uphendule loo mbhalo ukuba ugqibe ngemibandela elungileyo kwaye usenobuhlobo omnye komnye, utshilo uSullivan. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba wena zi bonwabile ukuba bakuthumelele umyalezo, kukho ithuba elihle lokuba awukadluli kubudlelwane kwaye usenokuba nomdla wokuzama ukulungisa izinto. Kodwa ukuba ubonakala ukhathazekile, ukhathazekile okanye unexhala, Amathuba kukuba ubudlelwane buphelile kwaye awudingi ukuchitha ixesha lakho uthetha nomntu okwenze into engalunganga. Ndingacebisa ukuba ungaphenduli kuba akukho nto ilungileyo inokuvela kwintsebenziswano.
3. Jonga Ngaphaya kwaMazwi kwiscreen
Ukuba i-ex yakho isisithethi esigudileyo, banokuqala ukufihla inkumbulo yakho yexesha elidlulileyo. Kodwa thatha inyathelo umva, zijonge kwaye ujonge izenzo zabo endaweni yoko. Ngaba bukho nabuphi na ubungqina bokuba bayitshintshile indlela abaphatha ngayo abahlobo bakho? Ngaba abasathethi nabanye abafazi ngokungafanelekanga? Ngaba baye bafunda ukukuxabisa?
Jonga umzamo kunye nezenzo ngokuchasene namagama, utshilo uBromley. Amagama alula. Umzamo wabo ubonisa injongo yokwenene. Musa ukushukunyiswa ngamathemba akho. Endaweni yoko, thatha inyathelo emva kwaye ugcine umbono.
4. Ziqhelanise nokuzibamba Xa i-Ex Ebhala
Siyazi, kamsinya nje iitekisi zakho zangaphambili, iminwe yakho iqala ukushukuma kwaye awukwazi ukuyeka ukucinga malunga nendlela yokuphendula. Ufuna ukuvuthela ngokupheleleyo ifowuni yabo, kodwa endaweni yokugabha ngokubhaliweyo yonke into obuyifake ebhotileni kwezi nyanga zine zidlulileyo, linda umzuzwana, uphefumlele phezulu kwaye… ungenzi nto.
Indlela incoko eqala ngayo-kwaye zingaphi iitekisi ezithunyelwayo-ngokuqhelekileyo zinokukunika ingcamango engcono apho ihamba khona, uSullivan uthi. Ukunika i-ex yakho ixesha lokuzalisa ukuthula okungathandekiyo kwiscreen sabo ngemiyalezo engaphezulu kunokuba yile nto uyifunayo ukuze ufumanise iinjongo zabo.
Qinisekisa ukuba uvumela i-ex yakho ikhokele incoko, uSullivan uyaqhubeka. Ngaloo ndlela unokuqonda apho iya khona kwaye yintoni injongo yayo.
5. Ungaze Uzive Unyanzelekile Ukuba Ayikuncedi
Ungoyena mntu ukholisa abantu, kwaye uhlala ulungele wonke umntu ngaphambi kokuba uzikhathalele. Xa i-ex ifikelela kwaye amathumbu akho ekuxelela ukuba ubaleke, ungaziva ngathi kufuneka uthumele umyalezo ukuze ube ngumntu olungileyo.
Ukuba usukelo lwakho ‘kukoyisa uze uqhubeke nothando,’ ngoko akunyanzelekanga ukuba uphendule, utsho uBromley. Ngamanye amaxesha ubudlelwane bufikelela kwinqanaba lokugqitywa, kwaye oko kulungile. Ukuba kubuhlungu ukunxibelelana nomntu wakho wangaphambili, kwaye awunazo iimeko ezithethelelayo, njengabantwana, kukuzizukisa ukungaphenduli ukuba awufuni.
Khumbula ukuba usenokuba akukhange uze kuqala kolo lwalamano—okanye ngonaphakade nowakho wangaphambili-kodwa wenza nawe. Ukuba eyona nto ingcono onokuyenza kwimpilo yakho yengqondo kukuswayipha ngasekhohlo egameni labo kwaye ucinezele ukucima, unenkxaso yethu epheleleyo.
ENXULUMENEYO: Andikwazi Uyeka Ukulala ne Ex yam. Ngaba Kufuneka Ndiyiqhawule?
