Kwintlakohlaza edlulileyo, ndiqale iprojekthi nomntu endisebenza naye. W ndisebenze kunye ngokusondeleyo ngenxa ngaphezulu kweshumi iiyure ngosuku, kwaye yayiyinto esasiyiyo zombini unomdla kakhulu. Ngokuwa, ukwabelana ngeengcinga kunye namaphupha imini yonke, yonke imihla usuku, yenzekile into endiyicingayo umcimbi ngokweemvakalelo (imibhalo, ii-imeyile, njl.njl.). Ekugqibeleni…thina salala kunye emva koko ukuba nesibindi kunye neengcebiso ngokwaneleyo kulandela iziselo emva kweholide. Mna nomyeni wam sinomtshato oqhuba kakuhle. Singabantu abanxibelelana nabo ngokukhululekileyo, kwaye sikhulisa abantwana bethu ngengqiqo enkulu yokusebenzisana, kodwa kukho into engekhoyo ngoku. Ndiye ndaziva izinto kunye nomntu endisebenza naye endingazange ndizive ixesha elide . Sekunjalo, I am udliwe butyala. Ndiqala njani ukuziva ngcono Ingaba Ndenze ntoni? W umnqwazi ekumele ndiwenze ngokulandelayo?
Ungabuya kule nto, kodwa kuya kuthatha ukuzimisela okunzulu ukulandela umyeni wakho kunye neengxaki zakho ngokuphandle nangokunyaniseka. Ukuqhubela phambili nomtshato wakho, kuya kuthatha ubabalo lokuxolelwa komyeni wakho. Ukuhamba ebugwenxeni bakho kuya kuthatha ububele kuwe.
Yintoni omawuyenze ngokulandelayo
Akunakwenzeka ukufikelela kwimbewu ngoba wenze into oyenzileyo ngombuzo omnye. Ndicebisa kakhulu ukusebenzisana nengcali yonyango ukuze ndikuqonde ngoba . Ngaba yayiyeyombono? Imicimbi ifana nokudlala indlu yabantu abadala: Sifumana zonke izinto ezimnandi zobudlelwane ngaphandle komthwalo wokwenene wobomi-irhafu, imisebenzi, iifauce ezivuzayo. Okanye ngaba yayiyimfuno yokubonwa, ukuviwa, ukwaziwa? Okanye kungenxa yokuba ngokwenene uye wathandana nalo mntu usebenza naye?
Ukuqonda impembelelo yokwenyani-nokuba yinto ongafuniyo ukuyivuma kuwe-iya kukunceda woyise ubutyala bakho kwaye uphinde wakhe nantoni na ofuna ukuyakha kwakhona (okanye ukuyitshabalalisa). Ukuphonononga kunye nokujongana nale nto uyifunayo ngokwenene kuyoyikisa. Kodwa yeyona nto ibalulekileyo oyenzayo ngokulandelayo ukuqala ukuqhubela phambili.
Ukuvuma okanye ukungavumi
Andikwazi ukukuxelela ukuba ungayivuma na okanye ungayivumi umcimbi kumyeni wakho. Ndiyakholelwa ekunyanisekeni—KODWA—andizukukuxelela Kufuneka uxelele umyeni wakho inyani, kuba andazi ngokwaneleyo ngomyeni wakho. Andiyazi ichemistry yakhe yokuziphatha. Andazi ukuba yintoni kanye kanye ekhoyo phakathi kwenu nobabini. Ngeliphandle, ekuphela kwendlela onokumxelela ngayo kukuba uyazi ukuba unokuchacha. Ukuba akakwazi, andiqinisekanga ukuba ukunyaniseka kuxabiseke ngaphezu kwesi sidanga sokonakala. Le yinto kuphela onokuthi uyazi, kwaye ndiyaxolisa ukukushiya ujinga ngolo hlobo.
Iinketho zakho
Nantsi into endiyiyo unako Ndikuxelele. Xa kufikelelwa kumtshato wakho, kukho izinto ezintathu onokukhetha kuzo: Unokuwuqhawula umtshato wakho; ungawamkela umtshato wakho; okanye unokusebenzela emtshatweni wakho.
Ukuba uthembele kwinombolo yokuqala, sebenzisa lo msebenzi: Xa kuziwa kumntu osebenza naye, zama okusemandleni akho ukuze uzikhumbuze ngokufanelekileyo ukuba ngawo wonke umgangatho olungileyo uza nomgangatho owubalayo. Umntu osebenza iiyure ezinde ngokuqhuba kakhulu akafane abe liqabane olifunayo ukukhulisa abantwana. Umntu owabelana naye ngeetoni zobudlelwane obusondeleyo naye unokuba ngumntu olwa naye kakhulu. Umntu omthandayo ngokwasemzimbeni unokuswela uvuselelo lobukrelekrele olufunayo. Uluhlu luyaqhubeka. Akukho mntu uyinto yonke. (Ufunde oku kumyeni wakho kakade.) Zama ukubona ububi bobomi bakho kunye nomntu osebenza naye, kuba kufuneka wazi ukuba akukho budlelwane buyinto ecocekileyo.
Kodwa, xa ufunda umbuzo wakho, akubonakali ngathi ujonge ekuwupheliseni umtshato wakho, ke ndiza kucinga ukuba awuwubeki phantsi lo mcimbi, kwaye uzixhalabele kakhulu ukuba kuthetha ukuthini oku malunga nomtshato wakho. umtshato.
Kusenokwenzeka ukuba lo mtshato ukwenze waqonda into osilela ngayo ngoku nomyeni wakho. Mhlawumbi yinkanuko-unesondo esimangalisayo ekuqaleni kobudlelwane bakho kwaye ngoku kuye kwaba ngamaxesha kunye / okanye kunyanzelekile. Kwaye mhlawumbi kukho ukusondelana okulahlekileyo-ukuxoxa ngeengcinga kunye namaphupha akho yinto ethatha isihlalo esingasemva kubantwana kunye nemisebenzi kunye nesiphithiphithi sobomi ngokubanzi.
Ungayifumana loo mvakalelo emva, kodwa kufuneka usebenze kwaye uzimisele ngayo. Ngamanye amaxesha, ngokuhamba kwexesha, siyalibala ukwenza izinto ezincinci. Yiba nobusuku bexesha elisemgangathweni, apho ufumana umzanyana kwaye ugxininise ngokupheleleyo ekubeni ngamaqabane othando endaweni yabazali. Yenza ukubamba kube yinxalenye yendalo yobomi bakho; thatha isandla sakhe, ubambe umlenze wakhe, umphulule iinwele zakhe. Cwangcisa isondo . Fumana ixesha elinye kwiveki yakho onokuthi ngokuqinisekileyo wenze isenzo-ngoLwesithathu ngentsimbi ye-10 ebusuku, imizuzu engama-30 emva kokuba abantwana belele-kwaye uqinisekise ukuba ngumhla oqhelekileyo. Ezi zizinto ezigcina kwaye zigcine ubudlelwane.
Yaye kuthekani ngomntu osebenza naye?
Ukuba uphinda utyale imali emtshatweni wakho, yenza konke okusemandleni akho ukuze uncede umyeni wakho azive ekhuselekile ngokweemvakalelo—ingakumbi ukuba ekugqibeleni umxelela inyaniso. Luqhawule lonke unxibelelwano nomntu osebenza naye ngaphandle kotshintshiselwano olungenamsebenzi ekufuneka ubenalo. Nokuba awumxeleli umyeni wakho ngalo mcimbi, olo hlobo lokhuseleko olunzulu lusisiseko solwalamano olomeleleyo. Awunako ukuyifuna ngaphandle kokuyibuyisela.
Kwaye kunjalo, andinakucebisa unyango lomtshato ngakumbi. Unokufuna inkxaso eyongezelelweyo ekuphumeleleni oku kunye (ukuba naye usebhodini ukulungisa ubudlelwane). Imitshato engaphumelelanga idla ngokungaphumeleli kwabantu ababini, kodwa ukukopela yayikukhetho lwakho, kwaye akubonakali, ngokusekelwe kumbuzo wakho, ukuba kwakuyimpendulo kule meko.
UJenna Birch yintatheli kunye nombhali we Umsantsa wothando: Isicwangciso esiQhelekileyo sokuPhumelela ebomini naseLuthandweni , isikhokelo sokwakha ubudlelwane kubafazi banamhlanje, ngokunjalo umqeqeshi wokuthandana (ukwamkela abathengi abatsha ngo-2020). Ukumbuza umbuzo, anokuthi awuphendule kwikholamu ezayo kaPampereDpeopleny, mthumelele i-imeyile apha jen.birch@sbcglobal.net .
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