Ingxoxo yeGroup ikwikholamu yeengcebiso zeveki ye-The Know, apho abahleli bethu baphendula imibuzo yakho malunga nokuthandana, ubuhlobo, usapho, imidiya yoluntu nangaphaya. Ngaba unombuzo kwincoko? Ngenisa apha ngokungaziwa kwaye siya kwenza konke okusemandleni ethu ukuphendula.
Molo, Ncokola yeQela,
Kanye ngaphambi kokuba kuvalelwe umntu, omnye wabahlobo bam abasenyongweni wathembisana umtshato waza wandicela ukuba ndibe ngumyeni. Wayengafuni ukwenza umtshato ixesha elide, ngoko waceba ngokukhawuleza ukwenza itheko lomtshato ngo-Agasti kunye nomtshato kwiinyanga ezimbalwa kamva ngoNovemba. Nangona ndandinemincili ekuqaleni ngalo lonke ucwangciso lomtshato, ngoku umbono wokuzimasa itheko undenza ndibe nexhala. Amazwe aqala ukuvula kwakhona, kodwa andikaziva ndikhuselekile ukuya kwitheko elinabantu abangama-60 kunye, ngakumbi xa abanye babo beza kungena bevela kwamanye amazwe namazwe.
Njengomkhwenyana, ndiziva ndingumnqa ukuxelela umhlobo wam ukuba andifuni ukuya kwitheko lakhe lomtshato. Nangona kunjalo, impilo yam kufuneka ize kuqala, kwaye ndiziva ndingakhuselekanga ukuba phakathi kwabantu abaninzi okwangoku. Ngaba ndiyaphambana? Ndimcacisela njani umhlobo wam ukuba ndingangayi kwitheko lakhe lokuganana ndisazi ukuba lithetha ukuthini kuye? Into yokugqibela endiyifunayo kukuba ubuhlobo bethu bumosheke ngale nto.
— Uzithobile, Othukile uMtshakazi
TB ethandekayo,
Lisa Azcona , ofumene umnxeba owothukileyo ovela kumhlobo osenyongweni onengxaki efanayo kule nyanga, uthi— Uthethathethwano (kunye nomtshato!) Kuyinto enhle kwaye inomdla wokubhiyozela. Nangona kunjalo, imeko yezempilo yehlabathi iguqule isigqibo ebesiya kuba ngu-ewe-kwi-heat-beat ibe siso esibandakanya ukuqwalaselwa ngononophelo kunye nokucinga kwangaphambili. Ndithembe xa ndithetha oku: Awuwedwa kwaye iimvakalelo zakho zisebenza ngokupheleleyo. Ndiyakuncoma ngokucinga ngempilo yakho. Ngokwenza njalo, awucingi nje ngempilo yabathandekayo bakho, kodwa nabanye abakujikelezile.
Njengoko incoko isenokubonakala isoyikeka (akukho mntu uthanda ukubona i-bestie yakhe ikhathazekile), ndicebisa ukuba uvule imigca yonxibelelwano phakathi kwenu nobabini ngokukhawuleza. Kwincoko yakho, kubalulekile ukuba uthethe ukuba ukuthandabuza kwakho akukho, nangayiphi na indlela, ukubonakalisa oko akuthethayo kuwe.
Ukuba ekugqibeleni wenze isigqibo sokungayi, ndicinga ukuba inokuba licebo elihle ukubonisa umlingani wakho ukuba, nangona ungekho ngokwasemzimbeni, ucinga ngaye ngolo suku lukhethekileyo. Cinga ngokusebenza kwiprojekthi ye-DIY ebonisa ubuhlobo bakho obumangalisayo-enokuthi iboniswe epatini okanye ifumaneke kusasa. Mhlawumbi usenokukwazi ukwenza amalungiselelo a ukothuka inkangeleko ebonakalayo epatini kwiscreen esikhulu okanye kwiprojektha. Ukuba kukho nantoni na esiyifundileyo sonke ngeli xesha lingaqhelekanga, kukuba imibhiyozo ebonakalayo isenokukhumbuleka kwaye ikhethekileyo.
UMorgan Greenwald, (ngethemba) oza kutshata ngo-2021, uthi - Njengabo bobabini oza kuba ngumakoti kunye nomtshakazi kwimitshato emininzi ezayo (nangona imisiwe), ndiyayiqonda indlela ekumele ukuba uziva ukhathazeke ngayo ngoku. Ufuna usuku olukhethekileyo lomhlobo wakho luzive lukhethekile, kodwa kwangaxeshanye, awufuni kuncama ukhuseleko lwakho ukuze lube lukhethekileyo.
Nangona amanye amazwe eqala ukunciphisa izithintelo kwaye avumele iindibano zangaphandle, kukuwe ukuba uziva ukhululekile na ukuya kwimisitho ethethiweyo - ngakumbi xa kuzakubakho abantu abangama-60 nangaphezulu. Ukuba uyazi ukuba iimvakalelo zakho aziyi kutshintsha kwaye awuzukuziva ukhululekile ukuya kwitheko lothethathethwano lomhlobo wakho, ndinganyaniseka kuye kungekudala kunokuba enze amalungiselelo ngokufanelekileyo.
Ukuba lo ngumhlobo wokwenene, uya kuqonda apho uvela khona kwaye akuxhase ukubeka impilo nokhuseleko lwakho kuqala. Xa izinto ziqala ukuba yinto eqhelekileyo kwakhona (ngethemba kungekudala - iminwe yawela), unokucwangcisa omnye umbhiyozo omncinci kuye kunye nezinye iimpelesi zakhe - mhlawumbi i-brunch okanye i-park hang!
AmiLin McClure , owake waba ngumakoti ngelinye ixesha, uthi- Bendiya kuvakalelwa kanye ngendlela efanayo! Ndicinga ukuba ayinguwe wedwa umntu okwitheko lomtshakazi ocinga ngokuncipha ukuya ngenxa yobhubhane. Ingcebiso yam enkulu yile: musa ukulinda ixesha elide ukuxelela umhlobo wakho ukuba awuzukuya. Kubonakala ngathi wenze isigqibo sokuba impilo yakho iza kuqala, bubulumko kwicala lakho.
Mhlawumbi usenokude umcenge umtshakazi ukuba alihlehlise ngokupheleleyo itheko ukuze abahlobo nentsapho yakhe babekho ngaphandle kokubeka impilo yabo esichengeni. Ndicinga ukuba kukhuselekile ukuthi umhlobo wakho akafuni ukuba nabani na obathandayo agule. Okona kubaluleke kakhulu, nangona kunjalo, ndicinga ukuba kuya kuba luncedo ukuvakalisa inkxalabo yakho ukuze azi apho uvela khona, kwaye kwangoko uyenza, ngcono.
Ukuba yena ngokupheleleyo hayi ezantsi ukucwangcisa ngokutsha itheko, ndicebisa ukuba kusetyenzwe omnye umbhiyozo wothethathethwano wenu nobabini. Ngale ndlela, usenako ukuhlonipha eli xesha likhethekileyo ebomini bakhe - ngaphandle nje kwe-60-plus abantu abakungqongileyo. Njengomhlobo osenyongweni, ndiqinisekile ukuba uya kuqonda.
UDillon Thompson, ongazange amenywe kulo naliphi na itheko elinabantu abangama-60 kunye nabantu, uthi - Njengendoda engatshatanga, eyona nto ndisondele ngayo ekubeni ngumakoti kuxa ndiphinde ndabukela iWedding Crashers kwimpelaveki ephelileyo. Oko kuthethiweyo, eneneni andicingi ukuba le ngxaki inento yokwenza nemitshato. Uzithethile ngokwakho: Impilo yakho kufuneka ize kuqala. Yinyani leyo nokuba sithetha ngetheko lothethathethwano, ishawari yomntwana okanye umsitho wothweso-zidanga.
Ukuba unexhala malunga nokhuseleko lwakho, ke kufuneka unyaniseke. Xelela umhlobo wakho inyani ngoku, kwaye ungafihli nto malunga nento oya kukhululeka ngayo. Ukuba unexhala malunga nendlela asabela ngayo, mhlawumbi ufikelele kwabanye oomakhwekhwetha ubone ukuba ziphi na iintloko zabo. Ekugqibeleni nangona kunjalo, kuya kufuneka ujongane nomhlobo wakho-kwaye ukuba ukukhathalele ngokwaneleyo ukukubeka emtshatweni wakhe, kufuneka akwazi ukuqonda imbono yakho.
Alex Lasker, owayenayo abahlobo abathathu Misa imitshato kulo nyaka, uthi - Ndimiselwe ukuba ngumakoti (ixesha lam lokuqala!) komnye womtshato womhlobo wam osenyongweni kweli hlotyeni de wawuhlehlisa umsitho de kube ngu-2021, kwaye ndicinga ukuba ukuqiqa kwakhe ngalo mba kuya kukunika ingcaciso apha.
Uyabona, akazange afune ukuba yonke inkqubo ekhokelela kumtshato wakhe ibe liphupha elibi kwaye ibe yingozi kubahlobo bakhe kunye nosapho - itheko lothethathethwano, impelaveki ye-bachelorette, ishawa yomtshakazi, njl. njl. ukuphepha ukubeka iindwendwe kwimeko yakho ngqo. Kwakubuhlungu kakhulu ukucima zonke ezo ziganeko kwikhalenda yam, kodwa kwakhona kwaba sisiqabu ukwazi ukuba umhlobo wam osenyongweni wayecinga ngabo abathandayo njengoko wayesenza esinye sezona zigqibo zinzima kwakha kwafuneka azenze.
Mhlawumbi ndinguNancy ongalunganga apha, kodwa ndicinga ukuba kukuzingca kakhulu ukubamba itheko lothethathethwano okanye umtshato ngoku-kwaye andicingi ukuba kufuneka uzive unetyala nakancinci ngokuncipha ukuya. Iindaba ezimnandi zezokuba, sele ubonakala uzimisele kwisigqibo sakho sokungayi. Into ekufuneka uyenzile ngoku kukuxelela umtshakazi ngobabalo, uqinisekise ukuba ayisiyiyo into kuwe funa ukwenza, yinto yakho babe ukwenza ukuzikhusela. Ukuba akaqondi okanye akamkeli umnxeba wakho (oko kukuthi, ukuba kulungile, ndiqinisekile ukuba uya kukwenza), ke lixesha elibalulekileyo lokuphinda uphonononge ubuhlobo bakho.
TL;DR - Hayi ntombi yomolokazana, awuphambani nakancinci, ndicela uthembe amathumbu akho kulomcimbi. 60-plus abantu a ininzi ngalo mzuzu kanye ngexesha, ngakumbi njengoko sibuyela ngokukhawuleza kwii-hangouts zangaphakathi-mntu (kunye namanyathelo okhuseleko afanelekileyo, kunjalo.) Oko kuthethiweyo, ixesha ngumhlobo wakho ngoku - kodwa akuyi kuba mva. Xelela umtshakazi ngokukhawuleza: Yikrazule njengebhanti ukuba awuyi kubakho. Ngokuqinisekileyo, kuya kuhlaba, kodwa kuya kubonisa ukuba ubeke itoni yokucinga kwesi sigqibo esibalulekileyo kwaye awuzange wenze isigqibo sokungahambi kwiveki enye ngaphambi kweqela.
Ukuba ulithandile eli nqaku, jonga ukugqibela kwethu Ingxoxo yeQela , kwaye Cofa apha ukungenisa owakho umbuzo.
Okungakumbi okuvela kwiNcoko yeQela loLwazi:
Abahlobo bam bandidelile kumajelo onxibelelwano ngenxa yezithuba zam ze-BLM
Intombi yam iyala ukutshintsha umhla womtshato wayo, endingakwaziyo ukuya kuwo ngokukhuselekileyo
Isemester yam yokuqala yekholeji iya kwenziwa phantse-ndifanele ukwenza njani abahlobo?
Ndaye ndahlala nesithandwa sam ngaphambi kokuba ndivale - ngoku ndibuza yonke into
