Ehlabathini leebuntwaneniiingcaphephe, UGqr. Tovah Klein uyaphefumlaumoya opholileyo.Yenangokwenene eyaziwa njengeuMhlebezi osemncinci (okanye, njengokosiyathandambize, i pumhlali wokukhulisa abantwana).Isazi ngengqondo yabantwana kunye nomama wamakhwenkwe amathathu, ungumalathisi wabadumileyoIZiko leKholeji yaseBarnard yoPhuhliso lwaBantwana, kunye nombhali we Indlela Abantwana Abaselula Abakhula Ngayo:Yintoni enokwenziwa ngabazali namhlanje kubantwana abaneminyaka eyi-2-5 ukuze batyale iMbewu yeMpumelelo yobomi bonke . Kufuphi,uthetha umntwana omncinci, kwaye ulaphaguqulela.Funda uqhubeke ezinye zibalulekileubulumko.
ENXULUMENEYO: Nantsi into abayityileyo abaSatana bokwenyani abasi-7 ngosuku
Amashumi amabini anamashumi amabiniZibeke ezicathulweni zomntwana wakho
Nje ukuba uqalise ukujonga kwaye uqonde umntwana wakho omncinci, uya kuba nakho ukuqonda (kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ude ulindele) indlela abasabela ngayo kunye neenkxalabo zabo. Ndibiza oku 'ukubona ihlabathi ngamehlo akho omntwana,' okanye i-POV yakho yobuzali (imbono yembono). Kuxa thina njengabantu abadala sitshintsha imbono yethu ekuboneni ihlabathi ukusuka kwimbono yabantu abadala ukuya kwimbono yomntwana-inguqu enokuthi yenzeke ngokukhawuleza okanye ithathe ixesha. Xa oku kusenzeka ngequbuliso sikwimeko yokuxhasa abantwana bethu ngendlela ecacileyo nekulula kakhulu ukuyenza. Kutheni le nto ukubona ihlabathi ngokwembono yomntwana kubaluleke kangaka? Kuba leyo yeyona ndlela ilungileyo yokubaqonda, ukubakhokela ngothando nokhuthazo, nokuphepha ukuhlazeka nokubalawula.
Amashumi amabini anamashumi amabiniApho kukho umboniso, kukho imfuno engafezekanga
UKlein ukhankanya umzekelo wentombazana eneminyaka emithathu ubudala, uTanya, ekhalayo ithi ‘Andikuthandi!’ ngalo lonke ixesha ibona ummelwane onobuhlobo okhulileyo kwilifti. Ngokwemvelo, abazali bakhe bakuxhalabele ukuba krwada. Kodwa, uKlein ubhala athi: Kunokwenzeka ukuba, uTanya waziphatha ngendlela awayezenza ngayo kuba wayeziva njengomntu omncinane kwilifti enabantu abaninzi. Mhlawumbi wothuswa ngumfazi angamaziyo, okanye akaqinisekanga kwaye abeke endaweni. Bonke banokuwuchaza umnqweno wakhe wokunganxibelelani kunye nokuvala imeko. Into endiye ndaphinda ndayiqwalasela kwezi ziphazamiso kukuba abantwana bethu basoloko bephembelela abazali abaneenjongo ezintle ukuba bazame ukulawula okanye ukulungisa indlela yokuziphatha 'embi' yabantwana babo, ngaphandle kokubona imfuneko esisiseko yokuziphatha kwabo...Abantwana abasacathulayo abacingi kwangaphambili. ngokwabo. Abanako. Bangabantu ababotshelelwe ngokumangalisayo kwixesha langoku, bacingela bona kuphela kwaye bafuna ukuziva bekhuselekile, bethandwa, bekhathalelwe, ukanti bazimele ngaxeshanye.
Amashumi amabini anamashumi amabiniAyingomntwana wakho, yingqondo yakhe
Sonke sinamava eemvakalelo zethu kwakudala phambi kokuba siqiqe. Kodwa kubantwana abaselula lo mahluko uyamangalisa. Abantwana abancinci bahlala beziva amandla apheleleyo empendulo yeemvakalelo ngaphandle kokukwazi 'ukucinga' ngendlela yokuphuma kuyo. Ukutyhubela iminyaka yokusakhasa, unxibelelwano luye lwenziwa phakathi kwenqanaba eliphezulu lobuchopho [apho ukusebenza kwesigqeba kwenzekayo] kunye namaziko eemvakalelo. Ngapha koko, oku yeyona nto ibalulekileyo yokufunda kunye neentambo ezenzekayo kuphuhliso lobuchopho bomntwana osakhulayo. Kodwa unxibelelwano luthatha iminyaka (emininzi!) ukuyila kwaye lube luzenzekelayo. Le nethiwekhi iphuhlisa ngaphezulu kweziganeko ezininzi zobomi. Oku kudibanisa phakathi kokucinga kunye neemvakalelo kwenzeka kumakhulu onxibelelwano oluncinci umntwana wakho analo kunye nawe kunye nabanye abantu ababalulekileyo yonke imihla. Ngalo lonke ixesha uthuthuzela umntwana wakho okanye uhamba naye kwisiqhelo, unceda ukwenza olu nxibelelwano. Ngaphezu kwako konke, khumbula: Ngenene abakwazi ukulawula iimvakalelo ezibukhali okanye ezingalunganga kakuhle (okwangoku), kwaye ukuzinqanda ekwenzeni into ekungafanele bayenze kunzima ngokulinganayo kule minyaka.
i-wundervisuals / Getty ImagesUkuphindaphinda kuqhelekile—yaye kuyimfuneko ngokwenene
Abantwana abasacathulayo, ubhala esitsho uKlein, kufuneka babe namava eziganeko ngokuphindaphindiweyo (nangaphezulu!) Kwakhona ukuze bazazi kakuhle, ngakumbi into enzima njengokulawula iimvakalelo ezinamandla. Ukuziqhelanisa okuninzi kunye nokuphindaphinda kuyafuneka. Ngalo lonke ixesha uphendula umntwana owoyikayo ngamazwi athuthuzelayo, ‘Oh...yayiyoyikeka leyo. Ingxolo yayinkulu. Ndilapha nawe. Ukhuselekile,’ okanye ukhuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba azingise kumsebenzi othile ngokubhala iimvakalelo zakhe, ‘Uziva udimazekile ngenxa yokuba loo nxalenye yephazili ayikufanelanga! Ungazama kwakhona kwaye inokufaneleka,’ umntwana wakho wakha unxibelelwano phakathi kweengcinga, iimvakalelo, kunye nokuthomalalisa. Ngaphezulu kwamakhulu okanye amawaka ezilingo, umntwana wakho uya kuqalisa ukuyifaka ngaphakathi le nkqubo. Uya kuqalisa ukuthi, ‘Oku kunzima kodwa ndiyakwazi,’ okanye unyana wakho usenokuthi, ‘Kuyothusa kodwa ndilungile.’ Abantwana bafunda ukusebenzisa iingcinga namazwi abo ukuze balawule iimvakalelo baze balungelelanise izinto zabo. Ukuziphatha okusekwe kolu nxibelelwano luninzi kunye nawe ekuhambeni kwexesha…Kwaye sikhono sokumelana neemvakalelo ezinamandla kunye nokuphatha indlela yokuziphatha ngendlela eyamkelekileyo eluntwini engundoqo wokuzilawula, ekwayenye yezona zinto zibalaseleyo zokuqikelela impumelelo kunye nokuphila kakuhle. kubo bonke ubomi.
Imifanekiso yempelaveki Inc./Getty ImagesNgoko uphulukene nayo kwaye waxhwila abantwana bakho. Nantsi into omawuyenze ngokulandelayo
UKlein uchaza imeko apho umzali odiniweyo ekhwaza okanye egxeka umntwana ongafuniyo ukunxiba izihlangu zakhe (kuba kakade). Indlela yokubuyisela? Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kubazali ukuba bayibone kwaye bayiqonde kukuba kwiminyaka esakhulayo, iimfuno zomntwana (ukuzimela kunye nokuhlola, kunye nenkxaso kunye nentuthuzelo) kunye neemfuno zomzali (ixesha lokuzenzela, okanye imfuno yomntwana. ukuba ulungile) ungene ekungalungelelaniseni rhoqo ... Umntwana onomsindo ngenxa yokuba umnxibele iibhutsi zakhe ukuze aphume ngomnyango ngexesha elifanelekileyo xa efuna ukuyenza ngokwakhe (nangona edelela kwaye engayenzi) uphambana ngokwenene. Ngamanye amaxesha uyiphatha kakuhle; ngamanye amaxesha awukwenzi. Isenokuvakala ingaqhelekanga, kodwa impazamo ayiyongxaki, okoko nje kukho uxhulumaniso oluhle, ukulungiswa. Undoqo ngamaxesha anjengala—xa iimfuno zabo zingqubana nezethu—yindlela ophinda unxibelelane ngayo nomntwana wakho. Ukubuyelana kwakhona, ngaphandle kokusola, bazise ukuba ulapha ngenxa yabo, rhoqo, naxa kusenzeka amaxesha amabi.
Amashumi amabini anamashumi amabiniZikhumbuze ezi mantras
Umendo ka-Klein okhokelela kubudlelwane obuhle bomzali nomntwana oselula, kunye nokubeka isiseko sobomi obulungelelanisiweyo, zidweliswe kolu luhlu:
Abazali bangakwazi…
1. ukubuyisela umva imvakalelo yokhuseleko kunye nocwangco;
2. mamela abantwana endaweni yokusoloko uthetha nokubayalela;
3. ukunika abantwana inkululeko yokudlala nokuzihlola ngokwabo;
4. vumela abantwana ithuba nethuba lokuzabalaza baze basilele;
5. sebenzela ukuqonda ukuba umntwana ngamnye ungubani kwanokuba ufuna ntoni kwiminyaka ethile; kwaye
6. banike abantwana imida, imida nokhokelo.
ENXULUMENEYO: Iithoyi ezili-9 zeMontessori eziya kukhuthaza ukufunda kunye noKucinga koMntwana wakho
