Kukho umgca olungileyo phakathi kothando kunye nentabatheko. Ngoku ka Ithiyori yothando kaRobert J. Sternberg , intabatheko isekelwe kwinkanuko; ukhangwa ngokugqithiseleyo kumntu, unomdla wokuwabona, ubulili bukhulu, njl njl. Okwangoku, uthando lothando lusekelwe kwizinto zombini kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo; Unazo zonke izithako zokuthatheka, ezidityaniswa nobuhlobo, ukuthembana, inkxaso, njl.
Ekubeni intabatheko iyinxalenye yothando, kusenokuba nzima ukwahlula phakathi kwezi zibini—ingakumbi ukuba awuqinisekanga ukuba ukhe wathandana ngokupheleleyo. Kodwa nantsi imiqondiso yokuhlukanisa iimvakalelo, kwaye oko ndihlala ndigxininisa kubaxhasi bam bokuqeqesha xa bezama ukufumanisa ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni-uthando vs.
Ukuba unqwenela kakubi ukuba kufuphi nomntu ... kukuthabatheka
Ndiyakwazi ukuxela xa omnye wabathengi bam ethathekile. Akakwazi ukuyeka ukuncuma; uthetha ngetoni ngesini; uyageza. Kwaye kuhle! Ayisiyiyo yonke into. Intabatheko isekelwe kwinkanuko, imincili nenkanuko. Iyanxilisa. Usenokunqwenela ukuba kufutshane naloo mntu ngokwasemzimbeni kangangoko unako. Kodwa ukuba bebengayi kuba ngumnxeba wakho wokuqala ukuba unosuku olubi, okanye uyoyika ukubathwalisa ingxaki, mhlawumbi ayikaguquki eluthandweni okwangoku.
Ukuba uziva ukhuselekile phakathi komntu ... luthando
Uthando luzeka kade umsindo, uthando lunobubele ... uyasazi isaci. Ngothando, uziva uxhaswa ngokupheleleyo. Uziva ukwazi ukuvula malunga namaphupha akho anzulu kunye noloyiko lwakho olumnyama. Xa ukunye nabo, ngokwenene uyabuva ubukho babo—hayi ngathi bacinga ngomsebenzi, okanye usenokuba uthetha nomnye umntu kwi-Intanethi—kwaye obo bukho buyintuthuzelo. Uninzi lwabathengi, abathandanayo, baya kundixelela ukuba baziva ngathi yonke into iza kulunga xa iqabane labo likhona. Luphawu oluhle kakhulu olo.
Ukuba ucinga kakhulu ngobudlelwane, okanye uyazibuza ukuba baziva njani ... kukuthatheka
Uthando lunamacala amabini. Kwelinye icala, intabatheko idla ngokuba kwicala elinye. Ukuba uthabathekile, unokuchitha ixesha lakho elininzi uzibuza malunga nokuba bangaphezulu na kuwe okanye bazinikele kuwe. Usenokuzicingela kakhulu izinto ezincinci, njengokuthumela imiyalezo phakathi kosuku, xa bengekakuthumeleli umyalezo. Unokuziva ungakhuselekanga rhoqo malunga nokuba baya kuhamba okanye hayi. Ukuba i-tenor yobudlelwane bakho ayiqinisekanga, ayikabi uthando.
Ukuba uyazi ukuba ungathembela kubo kwingxaki… luthando
Masithi imoto yakho yonakele, okanye ufumanise ukuba umntu omthandayo usesibhedlele. Ungamfowunela lo mntu kuthethwa ngaye? Ukuba impendulo nguewe, kwaye uyazi ukuba uya kubuliswa ngezimbo ezifudumeleyo, ezixhasayo, ezithuthuzelayo, luthando. Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba ingxaki inokuba nzima ukuba umntu angakwazi ukuyisingatha, kusenokwenzeka ukuba yintabatheko. Uthando lunobunzulu kulo, kwaye aloyikiswa ziingxaki. Uthando luhlala.
Ukuba ubudlelwane bakho bomzimba ubukhulu becala ... yintabatheko
Cinga ngexesha olichitha nomntu ombonayo. Ngaba isondo yinxalenye enkulu yalo? Ngaba ungathanda (okanye bona) kunokuba udibanise kunokuphuma? Ngaba uchitha ixesha uthetha emva kokuba ufumene umzimba, okanye ngaba uziva unzima ukuthetha ngezinto zokwenyani ngaphandle kwegumbi lokulala? Ngaba uya ngeentsuku, udibana nabahlobo, udibane nosapho, wabelane ngezinto ozonwabisa ngazo? Okanye ngaba kufuneka isini sisoloko sibandakanyeka kuzo zonke iindibano zenu? Ukwabelana ngesondo kukhulu kwaye kubalulekile nakweyiphi na ubudlelwane bothando. Kodwa ngothando, akuvakali njengento ekugxilwe kuyo. Kuvakala njengendlela eyongezelelweyo, enika umdla yokubonisa ukuba uyalithanda iqabane lakho. Xa ndikhangela umgca ocolekileyo, ndihlala ndibuza abathengi bam ukuba isondo yeyona khosi okanye isitya esisecaleni.
Ukuba ubudlelwane bakho busisini zombini + ubuhlobo ... luthando
Sonke sithandana nomntu apho siziva sinokuba ngabahlobo abasondeleyo, kodwa akukho ntlantsi. Icala le-flip lithandana nomntu awukwazi ukuyeka ukucinga kwaye awukwazi ukuyeka ukuphupha, kodwa akukho cala leemvakalelo kubudlelwane bakho. Lithini elo binzana malunga nothando lokuba ubuhlobo buvutha umlilo? Yi! Ngethiyori kaSternberg, intabatheko kunye nothando luxhaphake bubuhlobo kunye nokusondelana. Ke, ukuba awunazo zombini, awunalo uthando lothando.
Yintoni omele uyenze ukuba ufumana intabatheko
Ndifuna ukugxininisa ukuba intabatheko ayiyonto imbi; sisiqalo sobudlelwane obuninzi. Kodwa omabini amaqela kufuneka enze umsebenzi ukuya kwindawo yothando, kwaye ngokwenene uvulekele ukuwa. Ukuba anikho nobabini kwiphepha elinye, ayisoze yavela. Ukuba ufuna uthando, hayi inkanuko nje, kuya kufuneka ubeke umzamo.
1. Beka phambili ubusuku bomhla, hayi ubusuku bokwabelana ngesondo
Ukuba ubudlelwane bakho beemvakalelo abuzange buvele, zikhuphe kwindawo (aka ekhaya) apho uya kuhendeka kakhulu ukuba uxakeke. Thatha uhambo okanye uhambe uhambo endaweni yoko. Thatha ibhotile yewayini, kwaye wonwabele ipikiniki epakini. Hambani kuhambo lwendlela encinci kunye. Zibeke ngokwenene kwiimeko apho incoko inokuguquka, kwaye ninokwazana.
2. Buza imibuzo evavanyayo
Kufuneka udlulele ngaphaya kwemihla ngemihla yomntu, nakwizinto zamaphupha abo. Ukuba benithandana kangangethuba elithile—ubuncinane kwiinyanga ezimbalwa—ufanele uzive ukhululekile ukubuza ukuba babubona ngaphi na ubomi babo, ukuba bafuna abantwana, ukuba banombono wokutshata ngenye imini, ukuba bafuna ukuhambahamba, luhlobo luni na? bobomi abafuna ukuba nabo. Le yindlela obona ngayo ukuba uphuhla kwicala elinye, kwaye ukuba unokuzalisekisa omnye komnye endleleni. Kuyandothusa ukuba bangaphi abantu abangayibuziyo imibuzo enzulu, baze baphele bechitha ixesha nomntu ongekho kuyo ngenxa yezizathu ezifanayo (okt umtshato, abantwana, ukuzibophelela) ukuba.
3. Thetha efowunini
Xa ndandithandana, kwavela uphawu olungaqhelekanga phakathi komntu wonke owayetyale imali ngokunzulu ekwakheni ubudlelwane nam: Banditsalela umnxeba. Ukuva ilizwi lomntu kunye nokwabelana ngamabali ngomlomo, nokuba awukwazi ukuba nomntu ngokwasemzimbeni, kudala umanyano ngakumbi kwaye ubonise ukuba uzimisele emsebenzini. Kuthatha imizuzwana elishumi ukuthumela umbhalo; kuthatha ixesha elibekelwe bucala ukwenza umnxeba. Yibeke phambili, kwaye uyalele kwiqabane lakho.
Ukuba ukhangela uthando, musa ukuchitha ixesha ngomntu othanda intabatheko. Qinisekisa ukuba uyafuna, udala kwaye ulungisa ubuhlobo kanye kunye nothando oluzivayo ngabo.
EZIQHELEKILEYO: Iimpawu ezi-3 zeZodiac eziFuna ukufunda ukucela uncedo
