Xa nina niqala ukudibana, kwakufana nje nenoveli kaNicholas Sparks. (Wakuzisela iirozi kunye neetruffles! Wakubambela ucango! Wabukela iinkqubo zikamabonwakude ezingcolileyo kunye nawe, kwanezona zibangela iintloni!) Kodwa ngoku sele nikunye ixeshana, awukwazi ukuxelela ukuba ubudlelwane behiccups yinto eqhelekileyo ngokupheleleyo okanye ukuba imilo onayo ayinampilo. Kuba xa kufikwa kwi-roller coaster yobudlelwane, kunokuba nzima ukubona iimpawu zetyhefu.
Kuqhelekile ukuba abantu abakwimibutho engafanelekanga bazithethelele ngokuziphatha kwabo (okanye kweqabane labo) okanye ukukhanyela indlela izinto eziyiyo. Kodwa ukuba uhlala ujongana neemvakalelo zomona, ukungazithembi okanye ukuxhalaba, ngoko kusenokwenzeka ukuba uphambukela kwindawo eyonakalisayo. Nantsi enye indlela yokuxelela ukuba ujongene nothando oluyityhefu: Ubudlelwane obunempilo bukwenza uzive wanelisekile kwaye womelele, ngelixa ubudlelwane obuyityhefu bukushiya uziva udakumbile kwaye udiniwe. Kwaye oko kunokuba yingozi. Kwi isifundo sexesha elide eyalandela ngaphezu kwezifundo ze-10,000, abaphandi bafumanisa ukuba abathathi-nxaxheba ababenobudlelwane obubi babesengozini enkulu yokuphuhlisa iingxaki zentliziyo (kubandakanywa nesiganeko esibulalayo senhliziyo) kunabo ubudlelwane babo obusondeleyo babungekho bubi. Ewe. Ngelixa akukho budlelwane bunokonwaba kwaye bungabinangquzulwano ngalo lonke ixesha, wazi njani ukuba eyakho ayinampilo? Apha, iindlela ezisixhenxe zokuxelela ukuba ukwimeko enetyhefu.
ENXULUMENEYO: AMAGAMA AMA-6 OKUMELE UWATHETHELE KUMNTU OYItyhefu UKUNXA ILE IMEKO
1. Unika indlela ngaphezu kokuba uthatha.
Asithethi izinto eziphathekayo kunye nezijekulo ezinkulu, njengezo roses kunye neetruffles. Kuninzi malunga nezinto ezincinci ezicingayo, njengokugudla umqolo wakho ngaphandle kokucelwa, ukuthatha ixesha lokubuza malunga nosuku lwakho okanye uthabathe i-ice cream oyithandayo kwivenkile yokutya-ngenxa nje yokuba. Ukuba nguwe wedwa ophuma endleleni yakho ukwenza izinto ezikhethekileyo kwiqabane lakho kwaye akaze abuyisele okanye abuyisele isenzo (ingakumbi ukuba sele unxibelelane ukuba le yinto ongathanda ukuyenza), kusenokuba lixesha lokuba jonga ngakumbi ubudlelwane.
2. Uziva unexhala xa ningekho kunye.
Xa uchithe iiyure ezimbalwa kude neqabane lakho, uzifumana ujonga ifowuni yakho, unenkathazo yokwenza izigqibo ngokwakho kwaye unexhala lokuba kukho into engahambi kakuhle. Ngelixa usenokuba uqale wacinga ukuba esi sisizathu kufanele Yibani kunye (yonke into ingcono kakhulu xa ninobabini nje, nibambene esofeni), akunjalo, utsho. Jill P. Weber, Ph.D. Ukuba uhlala uzicingela okwesibini, ingaba ngumqondiso wokuba iqabane lakho libambe ubomi bakho-kunye nezigqibo ozenzayo-ngendlela eyityhefu.
3. Niphikisana ngento enye veki nganye.
Akaze ayikhuphe inkunkuma. Uhlala udinwe kakhulu ukuba ungaphuma ngooLwezihlanu. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba yintoni na umxholo wengxabano, izibini ezininzi zinemilo embalwa ye-cyclical ezayo ngokuphindaphindiweyo. Kodwa ukuba nixambulisana nje kuba nifuna ukuxambulisana ningakhange nithethe ukuba yintoni eyona nto ingundoqo okanye nithathe amanyathelo okulungisa izinto kwixesha elizayo, ulwalamano lwenu luya kumhlaba onetyhefu.
4. Ugcina amanqaku.
Into ‘yokugcina amanqaku’ kuxa umntu othandana naye eqhubeka ekubeka ityala ngeempazamo ozenzileyo kubudlelwane, uyacacisa. UMark Manson , umbhali we Ubugcisa obufihlakeleyo bokunganiki i-F * ck . Nje ukuba usombulule umba, ngumkhwa oyityhefu kakhulu ukuvumbulula ingxabano enye kwakhona, ngenjongo yokuphinda-phinda (okanye okubi ngakumbi, ukuhlazisa) iqabane lakho. Ke uphume nabahlobo bakho ehlotyeni elidlulileyo, waba ne-Aperol spritzes ezininzi ezintathu kwaye ngengozi waqhekeza isibane. Ukuba sele uyithethile kwaye ucele uxolo, akukho sizathu sokuba iqabane lakho lihlale liyiphakamisa ngalo lonke ixesha wena nabahlobo bakho ninomhla wokusela.
5. Awuziva njengawe mva nje.
Ubudlelwane obunempilo kufuneka buveze okona kulungileyo kuwe. Xa wena neqabane lakho niphuma nixhentsa, kufuneka nizive nizithembile, nimhle kwaye ningakhathali, ningabi nomona, ningakhuselekanga okanye ningahoywa. Ukuba uye waziva kubi Ukusukela oko ubuhleli nobuhle bakho, kusenokubakho izinto eziyityhefu ezenzekayo.
6. Udliwa ngokupheleleyo lubudlelwane.
Uxakeke ngokupheleleyo kukutyumza kwakho okutsha-awunakuyeka ukucinga ngaye, kwaye yonke into oyenzayo kukumenza onwabe. Ngelixa ezi mvakalelo zinokubhidaniswa ngokulula nothando, u-Weber ucacisa ukuba le yeyona nto iphambili yobudlelwane obuyityhefu. Kuya kufuneka uqaphele ukuba olu budlelwane buthatha isazisi sakho sonke, utshilo. Eyona flegi inkulu ebomvu? Ukuba uqala ukugcina iqabane lakho kude nosapho lwakho kunye nabahlobo ngenxa yokoyika ukuba abayi kuqonda kwaye banokukuxelela ukuba wohlukane naye. Thatha ixesha kuwe kwaye ukhumbule into ebikwenza wonwabe phambi kobudlelwane, emva koko uthathe isigqibo sokuba kukho indawo yenu nobabini kwaye iqabane lakho ukuqhubeka ukukhula kwaye uphumelele kunye.
7. Uziva ngathi ukwi-roller coaster.
Uthando olunetyhefu luhlala luthetha ukushukuma phakathi kweendawo eziphakamileyo ezinamandla (uchulumanco kunye nothando) kunye nokuhla okukhulu (ixhala kunye nokudakumba). Uyonwaba xa ukwindawo ephakamileyo kodwa ubukhulu becala unamava aphantsi. Ngendlela egqwethekileyo, kukungaqiniseki kweemvakalelo ezinzulu ezigcina umntu ebambelele, njengomngcakazi ongaphumelelanga enethemba lokuba ikhadi elilandelayo liya kuguqula yonke into, utsho uWeber. Qaphela le pateni kwaye wehla endleleni, ucebisa.
Ke ukuba ubonile imiqondiso, uphuma njani kubudlelwane obuyityhefu ? Inyathelo lokuqala kukuvuma ukuba lubudlelwane-hayi wena - oko kuphosakele. Emva koko, funa uncedo kwisazi sengqondo okanye umcebisi. Ukuphuma kubudlelwane obungenampilo kunzima (kuthathe kulo mbhali okwenzileyo) kwaye ukuphendukela kwingcali kunokukunceda ukuba ufumane indlela efanelekileyo yokunyathela kunye nendlela yokwakha kwakhona ubomi bakho njengomntu onamandla, ongatshatanga kwakhona. Zingqonge ngabantu abalungileyo kwaye ubeke ukuzikhathalela kwakho kuqala. Ngaba ufuna amazwi okhuthazo? Ziyeke ezi ucaphulo malunga nobudlelwane obuyityhefu ndiyakukhuthaza.
ENXULUMENEYO: INYE INTO ONGAKUMELE UYITHETHE UMNTU OYItyhefu
