Yintoni Umsebenzi Weemvakalelo?
Igama elithi ukusebenza ngokweemvakalelo laqalwa yingcali yezentlalo u-Arlie Hochschild kwincwadi yakhe yowe-1983 ethetha ngalo mba, Intliziyo Elawulwayo . Inkcazo yokuqala kaHochschild ibhekiselele kumsebenzi wokulawula iimvakalelo zakhe ezifunwa yimisebenzi ethile. Ngokomzekelo, abalindi beenqwelo-moya balindeleke ukuba bancume baze babe nobuhlobo nakwiimeko ezicinezelayo. Lowo ngumsebenzi weemvakalelo. Kodwa eli gama liye lasebenza kwimiba engaphandle kwendawo yokusebenza. Ukusetyenziswa kwangoku, ukusetyenzwa ngokweemvakalelo kudla ngokusetyenziswa ukuchaza umsebenzi owenzeka kwinqanaba lasekhaya, nto leyo efunekayo ukugcina ikhaya liqhuba kakuhle. Xa elinye iqabane lisenza okungakumbi kulo msebenzi—ukucoca indlu, ukulawula ucwangciso lwabantwana, ukuthumela amakhadi eholide kwizalamane, ukuzisa ukutya kumzali owalupheleyo, nokunye okuninzi—kunokukhokelela ngokulula kwingqumbo nokungavisisani.
Oko akuthethi ukuba kusebenza kuyo yonke imisebenzi yasekhaya. Ebuzwa ngu IAtlantiki nokuba ngumsebenzi weemvakalelo ukuba ngumntu kwisibini esihlala si-RSVP kwimemo zepati, kwaye uqinisekise ukuba ufowunela amalungu osapho lwakho rhoqo ngokwaneleyo, kwaye ukhumbule imihla yokuzalwa, waphawula, Hayi ngokwemvelo. Kunokwenzeka ukuba, ukuba uziva unomthwalo kwaye unomsindo kwaye ulawula ukucaphuka kwakho.
Indlela yokulungelelanisa uMsebenzi woMvakalelo kuBudlelwane
1. Qonda wena kunye neDynamic yeqabane lakho
Inyathelo lokuqala ekusombululeni ingxaki, kungakhathaliseki uhlobo lwengxaki, kukuchaza. Kubudlelwane besini esingafaniyo, umsebenzi weemvakalelo uhlala uwela kwabasetyhini, abaye balungiswa ngokubanzi kwaye bahlalisana ukuze bathathe ubomi beemvakalelo zabanye. Kodwa kuthekani ngezibini zesini esinye okanye izibini ezithandana nesini esahlukileyo apho isabelo sengonyama sokubulaleka ngokweemvakalelo siwela phezu kwendoda? Ukungalingani komsebenzi weemvakalelo akuhlali kuhambelana nesini, kodwa ukuchaza amandla akho kunye neqabane lakho kubalulekile nangona kunjalo. Cinga ngokunzulu malunga nokuba ngubani owenza uninzi lomsebenzi ekhaya. Ukuvuma ukungalingani kuyimfuneko ukuyilungisa.
2. Thetha Ngayo
Ukuze naluphi na utshintsho lwenziwe, wena neqabane lakho kufuneka nibe kwiphepha elinye. Kodwa uyenza njani malunga nale ncoko inokuba nzima? Per Erin Wiley, umcebisi ngomtshato kunye nomlawuli olawulayo we Iziko leWillow , kulapho ukuqaliswa okuthambileyo kufuneka kudlale. Yenziwe ngu Gottman Institute , ingcamango yokuba ingxabano iphetha ngendlela efanayo, ngoko ke ukuba ungena kuyo igcwele izityholo kunye nokungahambi kakuhle, akuyi kugqiba kakuhle. Ngokusisiseko, ufuna ukukhalaza ngaphandle kokusola, utshilo. Nikela ingqalelo kwizibakala. Kumzekelo womatshini wokuhlamba izitya, usenokuthi: ‘Ndiziva ndonwabile xa undijongile ngoxa ndisenza oku kuba kundenza ndivakalelwe kukuba ndiyagwetywa.’ Oku kunemveliso ngakumbi kunokuthi, ‘Ukuba ujonga ngaphaya okwesihlandlo esinye, andisayi kuphinda ndiwufake lo matshini wokuhlamba izitya kwakhona.’ Usukelo lwakho lufanele lube kukufaka isikhalazo kodwa ushenxise nakuphi na ukugxekwa ngokuphandle okanye intetho engakhiyo.
Kuya kufuneka uqonde ukuba le asiyoncoko yexesha elinye, kulapho ukukhangela ukungena ngamaxesha athile kunceda khona. Nje ukuba uze nendlela enobulungisa emsebenzini, misela ukungena ngokukhawuleza (oku kunokuba, njengemizuzu elishumi ngeveki okanye enye iveki) ukuthetha malunga nokuba nobabini niziva kamnandi na malunga. ulwahlulo lomsebenzi. Ukuthatha ubushushu bakho bokusebenza ngokweemvakalelo rhoqo yindlela entle yokubona kunye nokulungisa imiba emincinci ngaphambi kokuba babe nethuba lokuba yingxaki enkulu.
3. Yenza Umsebenzi Ongabonakaliyo Ubonakale
Iqanjwe kwinqaku le-1987 yingcali yentlalontle Arlene Daniels , umsebenzi ongabonakaliyo ubhekisela kumsebenzi ongahlawulwanga ongenamsebenzi, ongaqatshelwanga kwaye ngaloo ndlela, ongalawulwayo. Kubudlelwane phakathi kwabantu besini esahlukileyo, abasetyhini basoloko benikwa le misebenzi ingaqatshelwanga, nto leyo ethetha ukuba umsebenzi omninzi owenziwayo usenokungaqondwa nayindoda ekubudlelwane. Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba iqabane lakho aliqondi nokuba kungakanani na okwenzayo, cinga ngokuhlala phantsi uze udwelise zonke izinto ekufuneka zenziwe ukuze ikhaya lakho lihambe kakuhle, kwaye uqaphele ukuba leliphi iqabane elinoxanduva lomsebenzi ngamnye. Ukubona uluhlu olubonakalayo kunokuvula amehlo kuni nobabini: Usenokuba uqhele ukwenza yonke into kangangokuba awuqondi ukuba ungakanani umsebenzi owela emagxeni akho, kwaye iqabane lakho lisenokungaqondi ukuba lingakanani na. kuthatha ukulungelelanisa ikhaya kunye nobomi bakho.
4. Gxininisa ekuzitshintsheni
Kwihlabathi elifanelekileyo, xa iqabane lakho liqonda ukungalingani emsebenzini weemvakalelo, baya kulwamkela olo lwazi kwaye benze umzamo wokulungelelanisa izinto. Kodwa nantsi into: nokuba iqabane lakho alikwazi okanye alifuni ukuyekelela kule misebenzi, usenokutshintsha. UGqr. Candice Hargons, Ph.D., unjingalwazi oncedisayo kwiYunivesithi yaseKentucky kunye nogqirha wengqondo ogunyazisiweyo, uxelele INew York Times , Ubuhle bezibini eziguquguqukayo kukuba ukuba umntu omnye uyatshintsha, isibini sitshintshile. Ukuba umntu osebenza ngokweemvakalelo uya kunyango lomntu ngamnye kwaye afunde ukuncama uxanduva lokusebenza ngokweemvakalelo, elinye iqabane linokukhetha ukudlulela kwelinye iqabane okanye liqalise ukujongana neemfuno zabo zeemvakalelo kunye neemfuno zosapho ngokwahlukileyo.
5. Khumbula ukuba iqabane lakho aliyiyo iMind Reader
Ngokukodwa xa kufikwa kubasebenzi abangabonakaliyo, kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuba iqabane lakho lisenokungakhathali ngokupheleleyo kubungakanani bomsebenzi owenzayo, okuthetha ukuba ukwala kwabo okucacileyo kubangelwa kukungabi nalwazi kunobubi. Ngokwe-neuropsychologist UGqr. Sanam Hafeez , 'Sithanda ukuthumela imiqondiso kumlingani wethu ukuba izenzo zabo azisenzi sonwabe, kodwa imiqondiso ayicacanga, i-passive-aggressive kwaye ayiphenduli ngento yokuba iradar yeqabane lakho isenokungafundi kwiimpawu zakho. Ke amathuba okuba oko kuncwina kuchuliweyo, ukuqengqeleka kwamehlo kunye nokumbombozela phantsi komphefumlo wakho mhlawumbi kuyalibhidanisa iqabane lakho okanye akuqatshelwanga kwaphela.
Endaweni yoko, uHafeez ucebisa ukuba uthathe elinye lala mabinzana ukuze ulijikelezise kwixesha elizayo i-SO yakho. ukuhoya ukunceda:
- Indenza ndizive ngathi andinaye umntu endinokuthembela kuye kwizinto ezincinci.
- Ndifuna ukuba uligcine ilizwi lakho xa usithi uya kwenza into. Kuyandoyisa xa kufuneka ndenze izinto ezininzi kunokuba bendifanele.
Nasi isizathu sokuba la mabinzana asebenza: Uvakalisa ngokuphandle oko ukulindeleyo kunye nendlela ekwenza uzive ngayo xa ungafezekiswanga. Kuvumelekile ngokupheleleyo ukuba iqabane lakho lingazibeki phambili izinto ezifanayo ozenzayo, ngakumbi iinkcukacha kunye nemisebenzi yasekhaya, uHafeez uyachaza. Kodwa inqaku lokuba kubudlelwane kukufunda ukuthomalalisa, ukuqinisekisa kunye negalelo ekuphuculeni izinto ezichaphazela iqabane lakho.
6. Ukubonelela ngeNgxelo eNgcono yoTshintsho oluNgcono
Masithi iqabane lakho livuleleke ekuthatheni umsebenzi weemvakalelo ngakumbi. Nokuba uziva ngathi ubuqabane bakho bekufanele ukuba bulingana kwakudala, kubalulekile ukuqaphela utshintsho oluhle olwenziwe liqabane lakho. Wonke umntu uyathanda ukuziva exatyisiwe, kodwa ukuba kubudlelwane bexesha elide kunokuthetha ukuba niqale ukuthathana kancinci. Uphononongo olupapashwe kwijenali Ubudlelwane Bomntu wafumanisa ukuba umbulelo ngundoqo kumtshato ophilileyo nophumelelayo. Ngapha koko, abaphandi bafumanise ukuba isenzo esilula sokuthi enkosi kwiqabane lakho rhoqo sinokuba namandla ngokwaneleyo ukukhusela utyekelo loqhawulo-mtshato lwesibini.
Umgca ongezantsi
Kubantu abaninzi, ukuthatha ubuninzi bomsebenzi weemvakalelo ekhaya kunokudinwa ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo. Kodwa ngethamsanqa, ukutshintsha uguquko phakathi komsebenzi owenzayo wena neqabane lakho akukho nzima kangako. Ukusuka ekwamkeleni ukungalingani ukuseta ukungena ngamaxesha athile ukuze uqiniseke ukuba ugcina isabelo esilinganayo semisebenzi yasekhaya, ukulungelelanisa umsebenzi weemvakalelo kubudlelwane bakho linyathelo eliyimfuneko ekuqinisekiseni ulonwabo lwakho kunye neqabane lakho.
ENXULUMENEYO: Mna kunye ne-BF yam singena mihla le, imilo yobudenge ngexesha lokuvalelwa. Ngaba Lo ngumqondiso?
