Ndingumyalezo omkhulu. Ndiyathanda ukwabelana ngeengcinga zam ngeendaba, ndiveze malunga nomsebenzi kwaye ndibe ne-banter encinci nje. Iyandinceda ndigqibe imini. Kodwa isoka lam elide aliyiyo i-texter kwaye ihamba ngeeyure ngaphandle kokuthumela imiyalezo kum. Wayengcono kakhulu ekuqaleni kobudlelwane bethu, kodwa sekuyiminyaka embalwa, kwaye akasanxibelelani. Iyandikhathaza kakhulu, kodwa andikwazi ukuchaza ukuba yintoni unxibelelwano olufanelekileyo. Unyanzelisa ukuba into ebesinayo ibininzi kakhulu. Ithini impendulo?
Le yingxaki eqhelekileyo kubudlelwane. Ngoba? Mhlawumbi ngenxa yokuba imigangatho yethu yonxibelelwano idla ngokumiselwa kwisigaba sokuthandana xa izinto zintsha kwaye zinika umdla kwaye kufuneka ufunde okuninzi omnye komnye. Kubantu abaninzi, xa sele nizinzile kubudlelwane, ningena kwisiqhelo kwaye nihlala kunye, kukho ukungxamiseka okuncinci.
Xa unxibelelwano kubudlelwane buguquka kwaye ulindelo lwethu alubikho, kukho ukungavisisani, kwaye ukuyisombulula, kufuneka sijonge kuthi kunye neqabane lethu. Kodwa ngaphambi kokuba ufikelele kuloo nto, nantsi isikhokelo esiqhelekileyo sendlela unxibelelwano oluhlala luhlala kwaye luhamba ngayo kulo lonke ubudlelwane. Qhubeka ufunda, kwaye uzame ukwalatha apho unokufika khona.
Ukuthandana Kwangoko
Kwangoko, kwindawo exineneyo yokuthandana, ukuhambisa umdla kubaluleke kakhulu. Inxalenye yokwenza oko, kwi-dating yanamhlanje, kukugcina umfutho xa ungekho kunye ngokwasemzimbeni. Ukuthumela imiyalezo (kwaye mhlawumbi ukufowuna ngamaxesha athile) yimpendulo, kunye nomhla omnye okanye emibini ngeveki efafazwe kuyo.
Ungalindela ukuthumela kwaye ufumane iitekisi ezininzi ngakumbi ekuqaleni ukuthandana ; ixhaphake kakhulu (ukuba ayinaluxanduva!) Ukuthumela imiyalezo imini yonke nomntu omthanda ngokwenene, kwaye sonke sikhe sabanobudlelwane obunye bobu budlelwane bombane be-text-banter esisanda kubonwabela ngamaqhekeza. Elinye inqaku elibalulekileyo: Ukuba umntu akathumeleli imiyalezo kakhulu kwezi ntsuku zokuqala, kunokwenzeka ukuba anciphe ngokuhamba kwexesha. Ngokwesiqhelo, ubeka eyona nto inomdla, umzamo ocacileyo wokuthandana kwangoko.
Sirious Dating
Emva kokuba uzimisele ngomntu kwaye kucacile ukuba ukuzinikela kuqinile, mhlawumbi unokuncinci ukufunda ngaye-kunye nenkuthazo encinci yokuqhubeka uhambisa umdla onamandla ngalo lonke ixesha. Umntu uyazi ukuba uyabathanda (okanye uyabathanda), akunjalo? Uyayidlulisela loo nto xa ubabona, akunjalo? Ukhetha ukuba kunye nabo, akunjalo?! Kunene. Ke kule meko, kuqhelekile ngokwenene (kwaye mhlawumbi kusempilweni kubomi bakho bomsebenzi) ukubona idiphu kunxibelelwano emini.
Ukuhlala Kunye
Ngokunyaniseka, nje ukuba nihlala kunye okanye nitshatile, unokufumana imfuneko encinci yokunxibelelana ngexesha lasemini kuba unexesha lokwenyani lobuso obuphawula usuku. Ngeendlela ezininzi, ukuba neengxoxo ze-IRL ezininzi kunotshintshiselwano ngesicatshulwa kunamandla kakhulu. Ndithetha ukuthi, mingaphi imilo oye wangena kuyo ngenxa yokuba uthathe isicatshulwa ngendlela engafanelekanga? Mhlawumbi ngaphezu kokuba unokunyamekela ukuvuma.
Ukujongana nomba
Nokuba uwela phi kwisikhokelo sam esiluncedo, ukuba uziva ungenanto, kufuneka ulungise. Ngaba kukho ixesha elininzi lobuso ngobuso ngoku nangona kukho ukuthumela imiyalezo imini yonke? Mhlawumbi ukukhomba nje kunye nokubiza utshintsho kuya kukwenza uzive ungcono.
Okanye, ukuba ungathanda ukubona unxibelelwano olungakumbi, xelela iqabane lakho ukuba uyalikhumbula inqanaba lonxibelelwano lweemvakalelo obunalo ngeentsuku zokuqala zokuthandana. Nangona kungenakwenzeka ukuba ubuyele kwindlela izinto ezaziyiyo, iqabane lakho mhlawumbi linokuhlangana nawe kwindawo ethile phakathi-kuba, c'mon, ukuthumela isicatshulwa apha kwaye akukho nzima kakhulu. Kufuneka kuhlale kukho indawo yokulalanisa.
Ukudlala nje ummeli kasathana, kusengqiqweni ukufuna ukuba neentsuku zokusebenza ezimbalwa zokungena, kodwa kulungile ukuba uthule unomathotholo. Ngokuqinisekileyo akukho nto iqhelekileyo. Ezinye izibini zithumela imiyalezo izihlandlo ezisisigidi ngosuku, ngoxa ezinye ziyigcinela intetho yomqamelo. Ngamanye amaxesha, ngeentsuku zokusebenza ezixakekileyo, kusenokungabikho unxibelelwano konke konke. Kwaye oko kulungile ngokupheleleyo. Zama ukufumanisa imida yakho ukuze ube nokuzoba iplani yonxibelelwano yobudlelwane bakho.
UJenna Birch yintatheli kunye nombhali we Umsantsa wothando: Isicwangciso esiQhelekileyo sokuPhumelela ebomini naseLuthandweni , isikhokelo sokwakha ubudlelwane kubafazi banamhlanje, ngokunjalo umqeqeshi wokuthandana (ukwamkela abathengi abatsha ngo-2020). Ukumbuza umbuzo, anokuthi awuphendule kwikholamu ezayo kaPampereDpeopleny, mthumelele i-imeyile apha jen.birch@sbcglobal.net .
ENXULUMENEYO: Umyeni Wam Ucinga Ukuba Ndiswele kwaye Andiziva Ndiviwe. Sisiya phi ukusuka Apha?
