Ubudlelwane bufana kakhulu nemililo. Manyani. Ukuqinisekisa ukuba oku kuhlala kuhleli, kufuneka uchithe ixesha namandla ekwakheni isiseko nasekugcineni amadangatye. Emva kwentlantsi yokuqala, umlilo uyakhula kwaye ekugqibeleni ube nomthombo ozinzileyo wobushushu kunye nokukhanya okuya kukukhokelela kumaxesha amnyama. Ukuba ilangatye liyaphela, kuya kufuneka uphinde uvuselele okanye ubeke umngcipheko wokuliyeka licime ngokupheleleyo. Uyazibuza indlela yokuvuselela ubudlelwane (okanye umlilo)? Ekuphela kwento efunekayo lixesha, ingqalelo kwaye, amaxesha amaninzi, ubukrelekrele obuncinci.
Kutheni iintlantsi ziphela kubudlelwane?
Amandla avuthayo, avuselelayo afunyenwe kwizigaba zokuqala zobudlelwane avuthuza ingqondo-ngokoqobo. Ndiwa emathandweni Iphakamisa amanqanaba e-cortisol kunye ne-dopamine engqondweni, okuthetha ukuba ukwimeko eqhubekayo yoxinzelelo olonwabileyo. Ngokutsho kukanjingalwazi waseHarvard Medical School, uRichard Schwartz, uthando lukwathoba amanqanaba e-serotonin asenzayo. sithe phithi ngumntu wethu omtsha . Ke, zeziphi iinguqulelo ezenza ezi ntlantsi ziphele? Ukunyaniseka, zininzi izinto. Kwaye kwenzeka kumntu wonke.
Okokuqala, ubutsha balo naluphi na uthando luphela ngokwemvelo ukuba uqhubeka nobudlelwane ixesha elide ngokwaneleyo. Njengoko sisiya silazi iqabane lethu ngcono kwaye nemikhwa yabo iqheleka ngakumbi, kuncinci ukufumana. Ubuchopho bethu buzilinganisa bubuyele ekungathathi hlangothi.
Okwesibini, sihlala sihlakulela ukulindela malunga nokuba yintoni a ubomi besondo obunempilo kufuneka ibukeke, ngokweencwadi, iimuvi kunye nemidiya. Ukuba kwaye xa ubomi bethu bokwenyani bungahlangabezani nolu lindelo (olungekho ngqiqweni kakhulu), iintlantsi zinokugqabhuka kuthi.
Ke, naliphi na inani leziganeko zobomi ezibalulekileyo linokunciphisa inkanuko kunye namandla ngokwesondo phakathi kwabantu ababini. Ingxaki yosapho, ukuhamba, ukufudukela kwenye indawo ngenxa yomsebenzi kunye nokuxilongwa kwesigulo esinganyangekiyo zizo zonke izehlo eziqatha ezinokuthi zonakalise ubomi bakho bokwabelana ngesondo. Ungakhankanyi ukuguquguquka kwendalo kwe-libido yomntu (inguqu enokuthi iphakanyiswe zizo zombini iziganeko zobomi kunye / okanye iyeza elitsha).
Ukuguga nje, into esiyenzayo sonke, ngamaxesha onke, iguqula amanqanaba ehomoni kwaye itshintshe indlela imizimba yethu ejongeka ngayo kwaye ivakale. UGqr Tameca N. Harris-Jackson, uMfundisi oQinisekisiweyo ngokwezesondo kunye noMbutho waseMelika wabaFundisi bezesondo, abacebisi, kunye nabaNyango, uxelela i-Healthline ezi ntlobo zenguqu zinokuthi. kukhokelela kunxulumano olubi lwengqondo nomzimba , ukwenza ukuba iintlobano zesini zibe nzima okanye zingathandeki.
Ukuba uziva ufuna ukuvuselela ubudlelwane bakho, jonga kwiingcamango ezingezantsi kwaye uqale ukuzifudumeza ukuya kwingcamango yokuzama into entsha.
1. Nyaniseka kwiqabane lakho malunga neemvakalelo zakho
I-SKYN yezesondo kunye neNgcali yobudlelwane obusondeleyo , umqeqeshi wezocansi oqinisekisiweyo, isazi sezesondo, kunye nombhali Gigi Engle uthi akukho ndlela yokuvuselela ubudlelwane ngaphandle kokuthetha ngayo. Ukuxoxa ukuba kutheni ukholelwa ukuba ukuvuselela kufuneka kwenzeke kwaye into ovakalelwa kukuba iyasilela kubudlelwane ngundoqo ekwenzeni ukuba kwenzeke. Ungalindelanga ukuba iqabane lakho libe yipesenti ye-100 kwiphepha elifanayo, nangona kunjalo. Amava omntu ngamnye ayasebenza kwaye awabo ngokuqinisekileyo aya kwahluka kunawakho. Khumbula: undoqo ekwakheni nasekugcineni ubudlelwane obunempilo kukuqinisekisa ukuba onke amaqela abandakanyekayo aziva eviwa, ehlonitshiwe, enelisekile kwaye ekhuselekile.
2. Dlala ngothando rhoqo
Enye indlela elula kakhulu yokuqalisa inkqubo yokuvuselela, enokuziva imbi okanye inyanzelekile ekuqaleni, kukudlala ngothando neqabane lakho rhoqo. Cinga emva kwiintsuku zokuqala zothando lwakho. Zeziphi ezinye iindlela zokuncwasa enazisebenzisa omnye komnye ukuze nigigitheke kwaye nibonise umdla? Zama oko kwakhona! Zama into entsha! Bandakanya ukubamba, izincomo kunye...
3. Thumelana ngesondo—nokuba nikwigumbi elinye
...Ukuthumela imiyalezo ngemiyalezo ethunyelwa ngefowuni! Imiyalezo ebhaliweyo evuselelayo ayipheleli nje ekuxeleleni iqabane lakho ukuba ucinga ngabo, yindlela entle kakhulu ukwakha ulindelo . (Nanku wethu indlela yokuthumela imiyalezo ngefowuni . ) Izibini ezininzi zizifumanisa zingena kuqheliselo olungenamsebenzi ngakumbi emva kwexesha elide kunye—nto leyo edla ngokuquka ukuhlala ehleli ecaleni kwebhedi ejonge iifowuni zazo. Ngokukodwa ngexesha lobhubhani we-COVID-19, kulula ukuphulukana nomkhondo wexesha olichitha kubuchwephesha, endaweni yokuba neqabane lakho. Ngexesha elizayo xa uzifumana kwifowuni yakho, vula i-sext kwaye ubone ukuba kwenzeka ntoni. Yigcine imdaka kwaye iswiti okanye uye kwinto erhabaxa nerhabaxa. Konke malunga nokwazisa iqabane lakho ukuba ucinga ngabo ngendlela esondeleyo.
4. Guqula into ibe nye
Ukuvuselela ubudlelwane kunokuziva kunzima. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ujongane nazo zonke iinkalo zokuvuselela amadangatye kwangoko. Qala ngokutshintsha into enye kubudlelwane bakho. Oku kunokuthetha ukwabelana ngesondo kwindawo ongazange uyizame ngaphambili (njengeshawari okanye igumbi lokulala leendwendwe), unxibe i-lingerie entsha, uzama indawo entsha okanye ungenise, uh, inkxaso . Ukufumana into engaqhelekanga kuni nobabini akugcini nje ukwandisa ubutsha bemeko yonke, idibanisa kunye kumava ekwabelwana ngawo.
5. Yenza ukwabelana ngesondo kube yinto ephambili
Cinga ngoluhlu lwakho lwezinto oza kuzenza zemihla ngemihla nangeveki. Kutheni ungaphosi ubusuku bomhla okanye isondo kolu luhlu? Ukuba ukuvuselela loo mlilo kubalulekile kuwe, kufuneka kube yinto ephambili. Kufuna umgudu nokuzinikela. Endaweni yokubukela uphindaphindo lwe IOfisi kwiNetflix, chitha elo xesha ukwazi imizimba yomnye nomnye kwakhona. Siyathembisa ukuba iNetflix iya kubakho xa ubuya.
6. Khangela kwaye uthenge into yokudlala entsha kunye
Indlela eqinisekileyo yokuvuselela ubudlelwane-okanye ubuncinci, iyelenqe-kukukhangela into yokudlala entsha ukudibanisa kubomi bakho bokwabelana ngesondo. Ngokuqinisekileyo oku kuyenzeka wedwa (kwaye ubone apha ngezantsi ukuba kutheni ilukhetho olukhulu olo), kodwa ukubrawuza neqabane lakho kunokuba mnandi kakhulu. Ayizukunikhumbuza nje ngokuba nobudlelwane obusondeleyo, iya kubonelela ngamathuba okubabuza ngeengcinga okanye iminqweno abangazange bayive ngaphambili. Inyathelo elilandelayo: uyazama.
7. Zifudumeze (ngaphandle kweqabane lakho)
Ukwabelana ngesondo kunye nomqeqeshi wobudlelwane uLucy Rowett yinto enkulu umxhasi wokuzonwabisa . Ngamanye amaxesha kunzima ukwazi ukuba ungabuza ntoni kwiqabane lakho ukuba awuqinisekanga ukuba yintoni ekwenza uzive ulungile. Abasetyhini bahlala benengxaki yokwanga kunye nokuhlola ubuni babo kunamadoda, nangona oku akusoloko kunjalo.
Ukwabelana ngesondo bekusoloko kubangela kwaye i-taboo kwihlabathi lasentshona kunye nakwiindawo zoluntu kunye neenkcubeko, utshilo uRowett. Ukuba awufumani iindlela zokuba ne-erotic nawe, ukuba ne-erotic neqabane lakho kuya kuba nzima ngakumbi.
Tyala ixesha uwedwa usenza izinto ezikwenza uzive unomtsalane ngaphandle kweqabane lakho. Unokumangaliswa yindlela exhobisa ngayo kwaye icacisa ngayo.
8. Zama umnqweno wokuphendula
Isazi ngesondo kunye nombhali uGqr. Jess O'Reilly, Ph.D, uphawula ukuba zimbini iintlobo ezizodwa zomnqweno . Umnqweno ozenzekelayo uyenzeka ngokwawo, ngaphandle kwesizathu ngaphandle kokuba ufuna umntu kwaye ufuna ngoku. Umnqweno wokusabela ubakho ngenxa yesinye isenzo. Mhlawumbi ubamba iliso leqabane lakho kwigumbi lonke okanye uphuze kancinci imilebe yabo. Esi senzo sinokuphemba umlilo kuni nobabini okhokelela kwinto eshushu ngakumbi. Ukutshala ixesha elingakumbi kumnqweno osabelayo kunokunceda ukudiliza imiqobo kwigumbi lokulala.
Inkcazo enkulu apha: Umnqweno wokuphendula kufuneka uhlale uvumelana. Oku akuthethi ukuba umangalela iqabane lakho ngokumanga ngokuchasene nentando yabo kwaye unethemba lokuba baya kutshintsha ingqondo yabo. Nasiphi na isenzo sobudlelwane kufuneka silungele onke amaqela abandakanyekayo.
9. Hamba uye kwindawo yokuhlala
Ukuhamba kwezi ntsuku kusenokungabi ngowona msebenzi unomtsalane, kodwa kuhlala kukho indawo yokuhlala. Cwangcisa impelaveki ekhaya ngenjongo yodwa yokudibanisa kunye nokuvuselela umlilo. Nkqu nokulala kwihotele yendawo kunokubangela ukuba iintlantsi zibhabhe. Kwakhona, ubutsha bento entsha eniyifumene kunye nobabini sisitshixo sokugcina loo mlilo uvutha.
Ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokuhlala ekhaya kwaye ugxile ekuzaziseni kwakhona omnye komnye, sicebisa Imibuzo engama-36 eKhokelela eluthandweni .
10. Funda okanye ubukele into…enika umdla
URowett yi fan erotica kwaye ukhuthaza abathengi bakhe ukuba bafumane into efanayo etshisa imililo yabo. Ukufunda i-erotica ngokuvakalayo kwiqabane lakho okanye nokuba neklabhu yencwadi yenoveli yabantu ababini kunokuba yeyona nto iphambili kwiimfuno zakho zobudlelwane. Ukubukela iimuvi ezihexayo kunye ezinivulayo nobabini yenye indlela yokungangeni kwimood kuphela kodwa nabelane ngeminqweno kunye nezinto ezikhethwayo kwinkqubo. Kuthekani ngencwadi okanye imuvi ekwenza ube nemihlali? Yintoni ebavuyisayo?
11. Qhagamshelana kwaye udibane nengcali yezesondo
Abanye abatshatileyo bafumana unyango ngesondo ukuba luncedo kakhulu. Yindlela eyoyikisayo yokukhupha imiba kumntu wesithathu oqeqeshelwe ukukhokela izibini ezitshatileyo kumakhubalo omileyo kunye ne-ruts. Ukwabelana ngesondo kunye nonyango lwezibini kunokuncedisa amaqabane ekuchazeni iimfuno zabo kunye nokuphuhlisa isigama esiphilileyo sokujongana namaxesha anzima kwixesha elizayo.
Ngamanye amaxesha, kukho inzondo ehlala ingena endleleni yobudlelwane obusondeleyo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba ngenxa yokungathembeki kwangaphambili okanye ukungafani kwi-sex drives, unyango luyindlela ephilileyo, ekhuselekileyo yokusabalalisa inzondo kwaye ufunde ukujongana nayo ngoko nangoko.
Indlela ovuselela ngayo ubudlelwane bakho ayiyi kujongeka ifana neendlela ezinye izibini ezenza ngayo, kwaye oku kulungile. Enyanisweni, kuyimfuneko! Kuphephe ukuzithelekisa nabanye ngayo yonke indlela. Ekuphela kwabantu ababalulekileyo nguwe, iqabane lakho kunye nela dangatye lomlilo phakathi kwakho.
